Haunted

Screw this

Clay POV

I spent every night like the one before, but yet it was all so new and exciting. I would head out to the beach to meet Willb—William and we would sit and talk and eventually end up kissing until we saw the sunrise, it was pure bliss, and yet all good things must come to an end. And end it did, that very night when I gave up on it all. The past, the future, everything to do with Wilbur, and it all started that night.

I was sitting on the beach, the moonlight and starlight glistening above me, all felt right. I had Will back, I was happy, I was content, I dug my hands in the sand, feeling it below me. I was listening to the waves when I heard gentle footsteps approaching me.

"Hey will," I said, smiling softly, as he sat down next to me, I noticed that he however did not return my smile, and instead seemed distraught, distant and upset. "Hey, are you okay? You know you can talk to me if you ever need to right? Im here to listen to you just as much as you listen to me."

"Yeah I know, and I'm decent enough I guess." He chuckled awkwardly.

"What's wrong?" I asked turning to look at him. "Is there something I can do to help?"

"I, um, well," he started, "I don't think so, it's, well, it's complicated,"

"I think I have an idea." I responded, mischievously, leaning in closer, before he abruptly pulled back.

"I'm sorry, no," he stated, standing up. "I can't—I just can't."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't want to force it on you. We can just talk if you want." I apologized, standing up and brushing the sand off of me.

"No, not tonight," he turned away. "Not any night, I can't do this anymore."

"Do what Will?" I asked, reaching for his hand in desperation, pulling him too look at me. "Talk to me, you know I'm here to listen."

"This! All of this!" He exclaimed, pulling away his hand but remaining eye contact with me. "Us, this, everything! It's not—I can't—I'm not him Clay! I'm not your ex boyfriend, and I can't keep kissing you knowing that it's him you're thinking of."

"I'm not—you're not- I never thought—" I tried to interrupt.

"Yes you are!" He said, running his hand through his hair. "I like you, Clay. I don't want to be some f*cking rebound anymore! Did you ever once stop and think about what I feel!? I'm tired of feeling like some second option, some knockoff because you lost the real deal. Im real too! He died just over two weeks ago, and not even two days later we kissed. I don't want to just be someone to help you move on from him. You loved him and I—I want that. I want love, God, it's been so long, I just want to know what love feels like at this point, but I'm not going to find that here."

"Will, just let me explain." I tried to reason.

"No! No empty promises, remember?" He snapped, as I recalled our first conversation.

"They're not empty, just hear me out." He tried again.

"No, because if I hear you out than I won't leave, and I have to leave okay. I can't keep doing this, it's hot healthy, and it's not helping either of us!" He yelled. "I can't do this anymore! I can't do us, I can't do the late nights, the sunrises, the beach, The f*cking singing along to the waves. That's what you said you and him did. I'm not him, I'm tired of you seeing me that way."

"I don't though—" I tried one final time.

"You do! I know you do! And that's exactly what hurts the most, you don't even know your doing it, but you are." He said, before he looked up from the ground, and locked eyes with me again, them being more soft and remorseful than just a few seconds ago. "I—I can't do this."

"Will, please, listen to me, please." I pleaded, desperate. "Please, you can't leave me, not you too, Wilbur please."

"I'm sorry Clay," he whispered softly beneath his breath, as he turned away. "But this is goodbye."

He walked out, so much for no empty promises. He said he would always be there to listen, but I had no one to talk to, I had never felt so god d*mn alone. Sure I had sat at that beach before, just me, and I was alone but I never felt that way.

I sat alone for the rest of that night, longing to hear him strumming along to the tune of the sea. Nothing was as magical as it had seemed not so long ago, even though it felt like a lifetime. I lost Wilbur, than I got him back, and now I'm losing him all over again. I knew he was right though, I thought of him as an alive version of Wilbur, and that's exactly who he is, but he doesn't know that. But I kept  hope that maybe, just maybe one day soon I'd be able to explain it to him, and make him understand.

Thus, I came back night after night, hoping he would be here, but he wasn't. All I had with him, with both hims, was washed away. I was left standing in the wake of the emptiness I'm left in. I was holding that old guitar Will would always play in my hands, but it wasn't as enchanting without him here with me. The stars were duller, the moon was hidden away, I stepped out into ocean until the water went just past my knees. I set down the guitar and watched as it floated away, knowing I never had to see it again. It harbored too many memories, memories that only harbored pain.
Screw this guitar. Screw everything that's happened. Screw it all. Just screw this.

Word count: 1014
Hey y'all! Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been busy lol. Anyways hope y'all have all been having a great week! See ya next time!