"You know, it's funny. When I saw your ad on Craigslist, I thought you were women."
The one where Winnie Conners moves into 4D and takes on the chaotic crew.
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As in a New Girl perspective, random seasons and episodes will be...
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☽✳︎
WINNIE'S EYES GLANCED between the piece of paper in her hand to the door that stood in front of her. After triple checking to make sure that she was on the right floor and at the right room, she raised her fist and knocked on the old door, slightly jumping when it had opened on it's own.
"Come on man, you ripped the duct tape off!" Someone spoke, causing Winnie's eyes to look up at him and then back down to the hot pink duct tape that was, in fact, taped between the door and the wall.
"What?" She could barely get out, watching as two more men had entered the room. "Is that how you lock your door?"
The man scoffed.
"Are you here for the open room?" He asked, completely ignoring her previous question.
"Uhm- yeah, yes" she nodded, holding up the Craigslist ad, "Winnie Conners, I-"
Before she could finish, the three immediately headed for the couch, leaving a confused Winnie in the doorway.
"You know, it's funny. When I saw your ad on Craigslist, I thought you were women." Winnie awkwardly laughed out, stepping more into the room.
One faked a laugh before turning towards her, "Why would you think that? That's crazy."
"I mean- uh, Schmidt wrote the ad" The other spoke.
"Oh, uhm, I guess it was about the words you used" Winnie mused, watching Schmidt's face contort to confusion. "It was like, like, sun-soaked and uh.. beige-e."
The two boys laughed while Schmidt rolled his eyes, swiftly pulling off his shirt in the process.
Winnie's brows furrowed in confusion at the random action.
"What about these" He smirked, gesturing to himself.
"What do you-" She tried before being interrupted by him again.
"Do these look beige-e to you?"
"I don't think I understand the question?" Winnie answered honestly, eyeing the other two suspiciously.
"This is L.L.S." Schmidt continued, winking at her.
"Is that some type of an American term?"
"No-"
"Ladies love Schmidt" He talked over again, keeping the proud smirk on his face.
"What did you just say?" One of the others had spoken, "Go put a dollar in the jar, right now" He pointed to a jar on a side table.
"Douchebag Jar?" Winnie read aloud, hearing Schmidt huff as he placed another dollar into the jar. "There's like twenty one's in there"
"He's actually doing good this month" One shrugged, watching Schmidt sit back on the couch.
"Okay, anyways, we have some questions."
"Me first." Winnie stopped him, "I need names, this is too confusing."
"Right, right." Schmidt nodded, reintroducing himself, "I'm Schmidt, the ladies man. That's Coach, he's a trainer. Then there is Nick, he just got dumped."
"You get ladies man and I get 'dumped'?" Nick looks at him unamused. "That was 6 months ago, I'm over it" He pushed out, clearly not over it.
"Anyways-"
"Questions" Nick cut her off, looking at her. "Why are you looking for an apartment?"
"My fiancé fucked my sister" She answered unbothered, looking down at her short nails. "Next"
"Way to start with that one, Nicholas" Schmidt slapped him, now looking back at Winnie, "Where do you work?"
"Uhm, I'm a dog groomer" she answered, still noticing a few dog hairs that had found it's way to her black shirt.
"No strays" Nick quickly replied, earning an eye roll from the girl.
"Dog groomer, not a dog catcher."
"Same thing," he shrugged in response.
"Do you have any friends?" Schmidt asked next, earning two glares from Nick and Coach and a confused glance from Winnie.
"Uhm, yeah" She awkwardly answered, "She's not around a lot though, she's a model so-"
"Uh, how soon can you move in?" He cut her off again.
"Reall-"
"Wait."
"No."
"Let's talk about this, one second."
Winnie watched as the three shuffled away from her and whispered to each other loudly, letting her hear everything they were saying.
"she's probably some crazy dog lady"
"her friend's a model dude, that means model friends"
"she smells too good to live here. it'll totally ruin the vibe."
Winnie subconsciously lifted her shirt to her nose, giving a quiet sniff.
As the three turned back around to face her, Winnie quickly dropped her shirt away from her nose, pushing out a cough. "So.."
