「One Last Time」

「 Chapter 7 | Guilty 」

Seokjin had been locking himself at his room, silence and his sobbing filled the room. His pillow was wet from his tears, he had his eyes swollen and his lips swollen either from his biting. He kept biting it, making it bleed sometimes. He was depressed, he was heartbroken. Jimin knocked at the door, " Hyung, you need to get out of there. We have a fan signing, " he said, " No, " he simply answered back without hesitation, " But, hyung, we need to go! " Jimin begged, " I SAID NO, " Seokjin cleared out, his voice slightly cracking. Jimin just scoffed then walked away, Hoseok tried this time, " Hyung! ( Your Name ) is in danger!! " He said with panic at his voice, clearly faking it. Seokjin then stood up, even if he was shirtless. He opened the door then Hoseok closed the door behind Seokjin, " Yes! Finally! I did great, hyung! I got Jin-hyung outside!!! " Hoseok cheered, Seokjin tried to go back in but Hoseok just slapped Seokjin's hand whenever Seokjin touched the door knob. That was the moment Seokjin was forced, he just wore a sweater then got to the fan signing. The A.R.M.Y noticed how Seokjin would always fake a smile and he had a swollen eyes and his lips weren't as red as it always were.

You on the other hand, came to the fan signing to see Yoongi. Your boyfriend. You then smiled as you got in line, he was already expecting you with his gummy smile. You said " hello " to the other members, but there he was. Seokjin. That one person that gave effort but you didn't notice. " I didn't know you were here, " He said, " I didn't know you were too, I heard you were locking yourself up. " You said as he stared at you, his voice in a monotone. His eyes were almost watery but he tried not cry, " How have you been? " You said, " I've been…fine. " he said while looking away, he then signed your album then you walked away. You told Yoongi that you had to go home, you then walked away. Driving away with tears in your eyes, you broke Seokjin. That was the only words running in your mind, you had broken Seokjin's fragile heart. You then turned off the engine, got the key then rushed inside your house. Closing the door then you sat down at the couch and covered your face, crying. You need to move on. You thought, You have Youngi now. Forgetting was the hardest thing but you had to forget Seokjin. You then wiped your tears, then for a moment. You forgot Seokjin. 

Weeks has passed, You moved on with the feeling of liking Seokjin. Yoongi made it all better, he even made a rap for you. Seokjin locked himself up, still depressed and lifeless. That was his problem, he couldn't let go so easily. Namjoon then walked in with the sight of Seokjin laid down at his bed and his wet pillow, Namjoon hated this view. He wanted the happy Seokjin, " Hey hyung, " Namjoon said, Seokjin then didn't respond but he heard, " You need to get out and see the weather, " He said, " it's autumn, you need to show up to her. You know, tell her you love her. " he linked, Seokjin then stiffened, " Maybe you can still tell her you can try and try to give her all the things she want, " Namjoon continued, Seokjin didn't respond. His breathing got heavy, there was like a shard at his heart. He was about to cry, " I mean, I understand but show to her that you can be there for her, " Namjoon said, " even if she doesn't love you. " Namjoon said softly then Namjoon stood up and walked away. Knowing that Seokjin would have an idea, Seokjin then stood up. Walking to the bathroom then taking a shower, fixing himself. He then wore a plaid shirt and jeans, he fixed himself like he used to. His hair was now fixed, eyes looked slightly swollen but it would be fine, his lips now red like back then. He then put his hands in his pocket then walked to your house, he was in front of your house now. The feeling made him nervous, he remembered screaming at you then throwing the gift. Yoongi had just left, he told you to just stay in your house. You then just stayed inside, wearing leggings and a sweater. You were feeling the winter coming. Or was it the cold feeling of missing Seokjin. You didn't mind, you didn't care about Seokjin anymore. You moved on. Then there was a knock at your door, you then stood up and expected that is was Yoongi then you opened the door to see Seokjin. He was just as handsome when the both of you met at the library, which made you blush a bit but it didn't show.

" You look better, " He said,  " What do you expect? Do you want to see me rotting myself away just like you? " You snapped back, " Not like that, " He mumbled, " Look, ( Your name ), I love you. " He said, gaining confidence, " I don't care, Seokjin! Leave me and Yoongi alone! " You screamed, " ( Your name ), I'd give you anything. I'd give you the stars, the moon, the sun. Just please at least respond properly, at least tell me you loved me. " He said with tears threatening from his eyes, " Seokjin, please leave. " you said coldly, glaring at him then closing the door at his face. He wasn't heartbroken, no, he was furious. He wanted to hurt Yoongi, he wanted revenge. He then bit his lips, his hair slightly ruffling then he walked away. He then walked to a building, abandoned one. He then gathered up some woods, then he burned them. Burning them was an ease to him. He then stood there, watching the woods burn. He wanted to burn his feelings for you, burn them along side with the woods that was just as pathetic as him. But he wasn't pathetic, he should have done many things. Better things, but he made things worse. He then watched as the fire began to fade from the lack of wood, that was your feelings for him. A fire with passion but soon, it burns out. He was the wood, you burned him too much. He just turns to nothing, ashes and dusts. He then walked away, Namjoon saw him close the door. He slammed it actually, waking up a sleeping Taehyung and Jungkook. Seokjin didn't care at a moment, Namjoon didn't disturb him. He understood the feeling, Seokjin then stomped to his room then slammed the door. Seokjin then slammed his fist at the wall, his fury was terrifying. He started to cry now, the feeling of the pain of being left behind. The feeling of rejection. That was what he felt, the then looked at the mirror at his room. Seeing himself. His broken self. He hated himself, He even grabbed the scissors then cut his hair. Not caring anymore, he hated himself. He didn't hate you but he hated himself, he wanted to hurt you but he knew he couldn't. He wasn't angry at you, he was angry of what you said. The words you said hurts him emotionally, he hated you screaming at him. He hated it, he then clenched his fist and slammed his fist at the mirror. Breaking it, he didn't feel a thing. Even if his fist was bleeding, no, he didn't care. He was crying, not because of his fist. Because of the scars you left, he knelt down then cried. All he did was cry, Everyone heard the crashes. Jungkook got scared, Jimin was terrified then he knocked his Seokjin's room, " Hyung? Are you alright? " He said, " LEAVE ME ALONE!? " Seokjin screamed, his voice cracking. Jimin then back away, Namjoon and the others didn't bother because they know that Seokjin would just scream again. 

You were there, you told Yoongi that he can just come tomorrow again. Then there you were, crying at the floor of your bedroom. You felt guilty, you remembered Seokjin's hurt face. You blamed yourself, you were in pain. You moved on, or you thought you did. You cried then cried, sobbing. You hated yourself for doing that to Seokjin, Seokjin was asking for a chance. You just screamed at him, then your phone started to ring. You answered it, clearing your throat. " Annyeonghaseyo? " you said, " Ahh… You sound like you are crying, are you fine? " You heard Yoongi say, " I'm fine, " you said, " Gwenchana, anyway, There is something wrong with Hyung-Seokjin. " Yoongi said, " Mwo? " You said, " He broke the mirror at his room, he started cutting his hair. He cried, I don't know what's happening but we're scared. " he said, " Ahhh… Gwenchana. " You said, you hated hearing this things. You didn't expect Seokjin to do this, you cleared your throat, " Oppa, " you said, " mwo? " he said, " I need space, " You said, " I'm the reason this is happening to Seokjin-oppa. " You said, Yoongi was speechless. He was being quiet, that scared you. " Arraso. " he said then he ended the call, you knew he was upset. He was angry, disappointed at you. But you were too naive, you then ran to Seokjin and the other's dorm. You ran and ran, then you knocked at the dorm's door. Namjoon opened it, " Ahh? Are you looking for Yoongi? He's not here. " He said, " No, I'm here for Seokjin. " you said then you pushed him aside, you then opened Seokjin's door knob at his door. He sitting at his bed, his fist was clenched while it bled, his hair was a mess, a puddle of blood and tears were at the ground while he looked down and his hair covered his eyes. The room was dark, the mirror was broken with the shards with some blood, the scissor was at the ground with some of Seokjin's hair. You couldn't believe this, you did this to Seokjin. 

You were guilty.