Your Telephone Calls are my Favorite Place (Karlnap)

Thirty

"Can I stay in here until we leave for England?" Sapnap asked quietly.

"You know my door is always open." Karl responded, knowing this was most likely just the tip of the iceberg.

Karl continued to wait patiently, no where to go until his nails dried anyway. Karl turned around in his chair, facing his monitor once again, trying to find the right words to say.

"You can stay with me while were in England too, you know." Karl eventually said.

"I don't think so." Sapnap's disappointed tone filled the space between them.

"Why's that?" Karl questioned. "It's not like Dream or George is going to be doing nightly bed checks like some high school field trip." Karl continued uncomfortably.

"I meant more so that I don't know if it's a good idea in general." Sapnap answered, his position unchanged.

"So you know you want to sleep in my bed with me while were here, but once we leave, you don't think you'll want that anymore?" Karl questioned.

Sapnap remained quiet for several moments. Karl anxiously began waving his nails around in an attempt to dry them faster, desperate to sit with his hurting friend.

"It sounds like I'm ashamed or unhappy, which neither are true. I wanted to stay in here with you last night, but I didn't know if that would be okay. So, I ended up going back to my room. I didn't like not being able to hold you. I don't know what any of this means. I don't know if I want us to stay friends or if I want us to be more. I didn't truly realize how I felt until seeing you kept getting pushed back further and further. Maybe I'm just a really needy friend, maybe I have.. romantic feelings or whatever. I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I don't know anything except I got really mad after seeing that text from Victor, asking you out. I don't know if it was because I don't want you seeing other people while I'm visiting, or if it's because I don't want you seeing  other people in general. I wish I had more answers. This sounded a lot better when I rehearsed it in the shower."

Karl's brain was going a million miles a minute in an attempt to understand all the information Sapnap had just placed in front of him. Karl was no where near comprehending the first monologue when Sapnap continued.

"Karl, this just doesn't feel real. Having the perfect time together, coming home to an elaborate surprise, designed just for me. Having anything I say or do be accepted by you. It's amazing, yes, but it's not real. It felt like we were in our own bubble, like we had made time stand still. When Victor called you, it also acted as a wake up call for me. That I'm not here playing house where we're each playing a boyfriend character. Relationships are hard, and messy, and difficult, and can tear people apart more than it brings them together. I love playing house with you Karl. I love our little life here in the safety of your home and small town. I just think it might be for the best if we don't move our bubble too much, it could pop at any moment." Sapnap finished.

"What makes you think I would expect a relationship so suddenly?" Karl spoke, desperate to comfort his best friend. Even if it meant sacrificing a bit of his happiness, he didn't care.

"You.. Don't want me to be your boyfriend?" Sapnap responded to Karl's question with a question. His tone was relieved and saddened.

"I mean, eventually? If our feelings continue to grow. Yeah, you as my boyfriend would be ideal. But Nick, that's weeks away, months if you need. We had one absolutely amazing day that I would relive over and over, yes, but in no way does that mean I expect a relationship or going public. I want to keep having amazing days with you, whether that's as your boyfriend or your best friend. As long as I'm with you, that's all I need." Karl answered tenderly. Giving up on having a smudge free manicure, Karl climbed in bed with Sapnap, spooning him from behind.

"I can't ask you to wait for something that might never come, Karl. That's too selfish. I can't expect you to treat me like a boyfriend when it's convenient and like a friend the rest of the time. That's horrible!" Sapnap responded, his breath becoming shaky. Karl scooched closer and held the hands that were tightly pressed against Sapnap's chest.

"It's not asking if I offer. It's not selfish if I'm fine with it. It's not convenience, its privacy." Karl countered everything negative Sapnap had to offer. Karl squeezed as tightly as he could, comforting his crying friend.

"Nick, I love you too much to force you to make any big decisions, let alone this early on. We can just take things at whatever pace you're comfortable with." Karl continued to soothe Sapnap, running his fingers through his hair.

Sapnap finally rolled over to face Karl, his bloodshot eyes looking up and down Karl's body. Sapnap didn't speak, burying his face into Karl's chest. Karl continued playing with Sapnap's hair, occasionally kissing his forehead, for several more minutes.

Sapnap breathed in deeply, letting out a long shaky breath.

"How was I blind for so long?" Sapnap questioned, reaching up to adjust Karl's dress shirt collar that was poking out.

"Blind to what?" Karl questioned as he moved around his neck, allowing Sapnap to fully fix his shirt.

"To the fact that I like guys also." Sapnap said, avoiding Karl's gaze. Despite the fact they had been fairly intimate with each other the previous night, coming out in a sense still felt awkward.

"Everyone finds out at a different time." Karl comforted him.

The two fell back into silence, Karl nearly dozing off again. Sapnap spoke up quietly.

"You look perfect, by the way."

Karl responded by giving Sapnap a soft kiss, fighting the urge to tug on the hair that was wrapped around his fingers.

Sapnap returned the kiss, leaning in slightly, but soon pulling back.

"We can't spend all day in this bed, you're all dressed up to go out." Sapnap said, leaning back to admire Karl's outfit. He slowly pulled himself up to a sitting position, looking down at Karl, who lazily remained in the same position. Sapnap got up and made his way to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face, hoping it would soothe the swelling around his eyes. He ran Karl's brush through his slightly overgrown hair, pushing it away from his face and sliding a hat on.

Sapnap looked through his suitcases, trying to find an outfit that would match the effort Karl had put into his. He opted for black jeans with holes on the knees. Instead of his normal hoodie with a t-shirt over it, Sapnap slipped on a slouched, satin, sage-green button up with a fitted white turtleneck underneath. He finished the look with a long silver chain. It was far from his usual style, but he wanted to impress Karl the way he was impressed by him. Sapnap sprayed his cologne on his neck and chest.

He had noticed Karl was wearing cologne earlier, he was quite fond of the smell. He wanted to tell Karl that he noticed, but he couldn't find the words. He wondered if Karl enjoyed the smell of his cologne too.

Sapnap returned to Karl's room, finding Karl curled up, practically in a ball on his bed. He wanted to take a photo, but resisted. Instead, Sapnap lifted Karl to his chest, carrying him down the stairs the same way he had carried him up the night before. The bumps of the stairs woke Karl, him looking around confused, still half asleep.

"You smell good." Karl murmured into Sapnap's chest. A soft blush creeping onto Sapnap's face.

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(1,333 words) Over 750 reads! Thank you all :')