Karl slid on the t-shirt and sweatpants that Sapnap handed him, laying back in his bed on his side. Sapnap soon followed, holding Karl from behind. After several minutes, Karl could hear faint snores from his best friend. Karl let out a long breath he didn't realize he was holding, finally beginning to breathe normally again. Karl closed his eyes, falling asleep to the snores that once kept him company over the phone.
The days began blending together, only leaving five more days left in England. Each one filled with filming, streaming, meeting up with other friend's who lived in the UK, editing, and Karl and Sapnap getting closer. They fell asleep with each other every night, started going on morning walks, and even had the chance to sneak away for a few dinners alone. Slowly but surely, Karl found himself starting to trust Sapnap again.
Karl didn't want to be too optimistic, but he felt like he and his best friend might actually be ready to have the long overdue conversation of where this all going.
Karl stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around him, walking over and hugging Sapnap from behind, who was brushing his teeth.
"Your phone has been going off for like 15 minutes." Sapnap spoke with his mouth full of toothpaste, making Karl giggle as he laid a quick peck on Sapnap's cheek before leaving the bathroom.
5 missed calls from Mom
4 new voicemails from Mom
2 missed calls from Father
1 new message from Family Chat
1 new message from Family Chat: *two images attached*
Karl looked down at his phone, completely disoriented as he finished buttoning his jeans. Karl opened his phone, playing his mom's voicemails.
"Karl. You need to answer your phone right now! You need to explain to me what Aunt Diane just sent out to the family. I thought Nick was a friend! You're telling me I had to find this out by-"
Karl missed the rest of the message as his phone slipped out of his hand, bouncing as it hit the floor. Karl couldn't even breathe. He tried hitting his chest, forcing his lungs to allow air in. He didn't even have to open the photos to know that his homophobic aunt must've found the photos the teens had taken of him and Sapnap at the restaurant.
Sapnap walked out of the bathroom hurriedly after hearing the thud of Karl's phone dropping. He looked over to see Karl red in the face, his stance beginning to waiver, still hitting his chest lightly.
"Karl? Karl!" Sapnap rushed to his side, pulling Karl's face towards him. "Hey, breathe. It's okay, just breathe." Sapnap gently hit Karl's back, thinking he must be choking.
Karl coughed as air finally entered his lungs. Karl went from not being able to breathe to hyperventilating as he heard the quiet sounds of his mother's voicemails continuing to play through his phone. Karl shook his head no, collapsing to the floor, bringing Sapnap down with him.
"Karl, please, what's wrong?" Sapnap begged, doing his best to continue wiping the tears that feverishly fell from Karl's eyes. Karl couldn't form any words, slowly sliding out of Sapnap's hold and lying on the floor.
Sapnap reached over to Karl's phone to see the call log of missed calls from his mom and dad.
"Is it your parents? Are they okay? Did something happen?" Sapnap questioned, not wanting to replay the voicemails that he assumed caused Karl to spiral into a panic attack. Sapnap laid on the floor, facing Karl. Karl's breathing was still rapid and shallow.
"Here's what were going to do, okay?" Sapnap started, lifting his hand in front of Karl's face and grabbing Karl's hand from his side. "You're going to run your pointer finger up and down each of my fingers. I want you to breathe in as you trace from my thumb to my pinky and then breathe out on the way back. Can you do that?" Sapnap asked, demonstrating with Karl's hand what he wanted Karl to do.
Karl nodded slightly, his tears still rolling over the bridge of his nose and onto the floor. Karl and Sapnap continued this exercise for several minutes until Karl's breathing regulated itself again. Sapnap lowered his hand to Karl's face, wiping the tears that stained his cheeks.
"Can you talk about it?" Sapnap whispered, not wanting to startle Karl.
"They know." Karl whispered back, his gaze fixed on his phone, still laying on the floor next to his bed.
"Who knows what?" Sapnap questioned, pushing Karl's stray hairs back and away from his face.
"Nick, do you remember my aunt from the farmer's market?" Karl looked up slowly to Sapnap. Sapnap nodded, doing his best to maintain a neutral facial expression.
"She sent the photos those kids posted of us in my family group chat." Karl said blankly, looking away again as tears filled his eyes once more.
Sapnap's hand froze in Karl's hair. He thought back to their conversation that day in the car, about how Karl's family wasn't the most accepting, not even his father. Karl began crying again and Sapnap sat up, pulling Karl into his lap.
"I.. don't know.. why this is.. happening!" Karl cried hard into Sapnap's chest, hiccupping through his words.
Sapnap rubbed circles on Karl's back, rocking him slowly.
"I'm here. I'm always going to be here. I'm your family too, Karl." Sapnap hushed into Karl's ear, unsure of if he could even hear or process what he was saying through his cries.
"Ca-can you listen to the voicemails from my mom and read the messages in the chat? I-i.. I can't do it." Karl stumbled through his words as he spoke into Sapnap's chest.
"Of course. I can do that later. Let me just be with you right now." Sapnap spoke softly, trying his best to not let his voice reflect the tears that were streaming down his face. He had never been so scared before. Sapnap had his own history with panic attacks he didn't tell many people about, seeing his best friend go through one right in front of him was a terrifying and slightly triggering situation.
"What if they disown me?" Karl finally spoke quietly, keeping his face buried in Sapnap's tear stained t-shirt.
"You don't need to think like that. Don't let things that haven't happened consume you. They just need some time to understand and accept you." Sapnap lifted his hand to wipe his tears incase Karl lifted his head.
"What if they can't?" Karl remained still in his best friend's lap.
"Then you have a whole family of friends who love you unconditionally already waiting." Sapnap answered, resting his chin on the top of Karl's head.
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(1,114 words) :'(
YOU ARE READING
Your Telephone Calls are my Favorite Place (Karlnap)
RomanceKarl is finding it more and more difficult to hide his feelings for his best friend, Sapnap. He's willing to risk it all for his chance at love, but does he really understanding just how much he's risking?
