Best Mistake (Someone somewhere in this world)

Chapter 7 - Unexpected

None of us talks. Adam is silent and so am I. Seconds, for sure minutes pass by, neither of us say something.

"God dammit! Either TALK or leave the f*cking room!" Sam yells from outside.

Sam is really impatient and tends to freak out and yell if something takes too long.

"Maybe we should--" I start.

"Go somewhere else" Adam finishes. We both stand up and go out. Sam, Taylor and Ron go in. Adam takes my hand and leads me to the elevator.

"I had time to explore the building" He says as we get to the elevator. "I want to show you the roof". We get in the elevator and Adam clicks on the button which makes the elevator go up to the highest level.

We get out of the elevator and in front of us is a big door. Adam pushes the door open and I step out after him. It's already dark since it's winter and few stars were out.

"It's beautiful" I say and look around. I could see the skyline from New York or rather some parts of it, but it's still breathtaking.

"Elly" Adam says and I get back into reality. What is going to say? Oh no.

"Look I..." He stutters "I don't want to make things awkward between us to. I- I just felt like I had confess what I feel or I'd... explode. It's just that... I- I love you" He says and my heart stops beating for seconds. He loves me! He freaking loves me! Oh my god!

I feel the tears wanting to come out. My heart pounds very fast and my lips pulsate. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. And I'm right, I do have a panic attack right now. My body shivers and I start to sweat. I can't breathe. My whole body is shacking. I try to catch my breath and start to hyperventilate. That never happened before. I never hyperventilate.

"El?" Adam asks. Hi looks scared and concerned. He steps closer to me but I step back. Slowly, I sit down on the floor and pull my knees up to my breast. Now the tears break free and stream down my cheek. I wraps my arms around my legs and I bury my face into my chest.

Adam does nothing, he just stands there and watches me. "Can you please go" I managed to say.

"But El" He says and knees down"I'll help you". He wants to wrap his arms around me but I push him off.

"You can't" I exclaim and even more tears come down. How can I cry so much? How is that possible?

"Yes I can, just let me" He says and tries it again. This time I let him and calm down.

Will it always be like this? I have a panic attack and he tries to help me and I push him away? How can he love me? He knows that I suffer from anxiety and mainly panic attacks but still wants to love me. My thoughts take over my head and the tears come again. Why? Why does he do that?

"Are you sure that--" I start.

"that I love you? Yes I do" He says and kisses my head.

"No that" I pull away from him "Adam... I have anxiety and panic attacks" I try to explain and stand up.

"And I want a dog" He says and stand up to. Again, he's dangerously close to me. My body is shaking and I fell hot like I'm in a sauna. I look at him confused and slightly annoyed that he doesn't take it serious. "I thought we say things that doesn't matter" Adam says and steps even closer. I don't step back. "I want you to be my girlfriend, Elisabeth."

"Do you really want a girlfriend who has anxiety and panic attacks AND nightmares nearly every night? Do you really want this?" I ask. He can't want that. No one wants that.

"No" He says and looks down. I step back and turn around.

"At least you're honest" I mutter.

"No!" Adam says again. "I want you! I want you Elisabeth. And when anxiety and panic attacks and nightmares have to come with you then WELL I want you anyway" He grabs my wrist but I shake it off and run away.

"How was it?" Hannah asks as I step into our room.

"Are you crying?" Keira asks and stands up from her bed. I don't say anything and go to my bed. I lay down, burying my face into the pillow.

"El? What happened?" Fiona asks me "What happened?" She asks the others.

"I have no idea" Keira says and sit down on the edge of the bed. She strokes my head and the tears just steam down my face. "El... Are you okay?" She asks.

"God dammit!" I shout and sit up. "Stop asking this stupid question when I'm clearly not OKAY!" I yell at her. Keira's shocked and stands up. I get out of bed and lock myself up in the bathroom. I slide down the door and stretch my legs out. From all the walking today and from running my legs hurt a bit.

"I let you guys alone and go... for a walk" Hannah says.

"I go with you Han" Fiona says.

"Okay, knock when you're back" Keira says and then whispers something that I can't hear. I hear the door open and close again. It knocks on the bathroom door.

"Elly" Keira says and I can imagine her sitting on the floor leaning against the door like I am and playing with the sleeve of her sweater. "You don't have to tell me what happened" She starts.

"But" I say to myself knowing that she's going to say it.

"but" Keira continues One point for me "If you want, you can" She says.

I don't say anything even though I really want to tell her what had happened but I can't.

After few minutes Keira can't keep it inside "Oh come on! I know that you want to tell me and I know that you feel like you can't" She burst out. One point for her.

I take a deep breath and stand up. I unlocked the door and Keira falls down. She didn't knew that I would open the door which kinda make me chuckle. She lays on the floor between the hallway and the bathroom and looks up at me. "Can we stay on the floor?" She asks and I nod. "Come down here" She says smirking. I sit down and Keira sits up.

After I told her what had happened it knocked on the door. Fiona and Hannah are back. I also told them everything and then Mr.McAllister came and told us to go to bed. We did, after we got ready for bed.

I lay in bed and think about the little things and Adam does that make me smile. The stupid jokes we tell each other all the time. The fact that we both laugh about stupid jokes makes me chuckle. Also, the cute moments we have or should I say had. He probably doesn't want to talk to me ever again after all that happened today.

He confessed his love and I ran away. How dumb is that? Yeah, pretty dumb. Gosh I'm such a big fail. But ... He loves me is all I can think off.