*cough cough cough*
"Woah where am I?" I say in a small clueless voice.
"You're finally awake my gooey pudding" reply's Curtis as he begins to snog me.
"WTF, Curtis. I know I'm not like other girls but I can't do this right now! Where am I?" I murmur back shakily.
"Oh so you do know who I am mamas" he grins "you're at the hospital, safe with me cutie"
I realise that I past out because Curtis got the better of me, his flirting took me out with a bang.
*curtis starts singing under his breath*
"If you're horny let's do it ride it my pony, my saddles waiting come and jump on it"
Wow not only could he dance and do AMAZING acting on Holly oaks but he also had a stupendous singing voice. That made me cream my beautiful blue and white hospital scrubs.
But I was still in a Curtis confuffle, why was he here being so nice to me? Did he actually want me to ride his pony? Is his saddle actually waiting? And most importantly why wasn't he going to make me a coffee so I was ready for the morning?
..........
After a long day at the hospital we arrive back at my mansion, Curtis looked at the towers, huge gates, and pristine gardens in awe. I know he was in love island but I suppose he was still rather povo compared to my riches.
"Is.. is this your house? *gulp*" says Curtis.
"Sure is *giggle* why don't you come inside. It's the least I could do, besides you saved my life" I gushed.
"Well I mean if you're sure baba grill, wait I never did catch your name! How rude of me!" Curtis replied.
"Oh yeah haha, the names Miranda, Miranda Fergie, MBE!" It was important for me to note the part about being an MBE, he has to treat me with the outmost respect I deserve. (Besides I'm not just anyone lol)
Curtis bows down in front of me and kisses my hand, "muh lady"
We both burst out laughing for a couple seconds and then continue to walk through the humongous wooden doors into my entrance room.
I see his eyes quickly flicker over to the large statues of Ed Sheeran and the Pope Francis.
I can tell he loves them dearly as a tear drop begins to form in his ocean blue eyes.
"They.. they..they're beautiful" he whispers as he motions over to the statues.
"Ah yes, I know I'm related to them you know, that's why they're here. To commemorate their honour as a part in the Fergie family." I sniffle as I say this and Curtis puts his arm around my shoulder.
"Do you see them often?" Questions Curtis.
"Well I haven't seen the Pope in years but he buys me a bottle of the most expensive lube each Christmas and a golden saxophone every Easter. He's lovely" I exclaim. "Oh and Ed comes over every year for my birthday, Galloway girl was actually written about me tehe"
No way, I thought your life couldn't be more perfect! Wow I'm jel!" Shrieks Curtis.
"Yeah I guess" I sigh, little does that handsome boy know.
Would I ever open up to him or would my super dark secret never end up being revealed???
YOU ARE READING
Squirty Curtis
HumorCurtis is a big boy with a courageous appetite for extra curricular activities. His heart of gold is what drives him to make everybody a coffee in the morning. But sometimes that gets the better of him. One horny morny it takes a turn for the worst...
