Lillian Potter and the Order of the phoenix (Fifth book to Lillian Potter)

Hagrid's back

Once Harry finally arrived at Grimmauld's place, it was kinder normal, but something was off with my twin. He seems out of it and won't interact with me that much about what is playing in his head, which is not helping my mood. One of those days, I am sitting in Fred and George's room, reading a book about different creatures with me, sighing and looking out the window and seeing people playing in the snow. I wish I could go outside, but it seems that I am always stuck inside because of what happened in that dream that has me under house arrest with people watching my every move, "Pebble's, can you help us with this" I heard George ask as I look up and over to my friends feeling that I was placed in this room by the orders of Lupin for these two to keep an eye on me. Still, I feel lost right now, like my soul is not with me entirely. 

That hurts to be near the boy I like, watching me with his dark eyes, never moving away from me, "what is it?" I ask as they are watching me, knowing that they are worried about my health because of what happened to their father in the ministry and how I dreamed about it, "the instance darkness powder," Fred answers as I gulp, looking at my book not in the mood to help them with anything. Before I could answer, however, Mrs Weasley called for us to come down for food for me to place my book on the window sill, "let's go, your mother is calling us", I tell them as I get up. 

Still, Fred takes my arm to prevent me from leaving quickly, "Pebble's you can talk to us, right?" he asks as I look up at him and shake my arm away from his grip, "I don't think it's safe for me to talk about any of this with you, Fred" I tell him as he storms off on my words as I wish to stop him. Still, it hurts to think of that. It is for the best to have him far away from me in case I hurt him in the future, "Lillian, we will not leave you to be on your own", George tells me as I look at the other twin, who looks at me, "Fred will understand what you are doing in the end" George tells me as we leave the room going down to the kitchen. As I have a heavy heart, feeling like my mood does not match the twins at the moment, and it hurts me that Fred looks so sad and angry while watching me. I want to let him in, but I love him too much to hurt him. 

I am standing at the dinner table when Mr Weasley is wheeled in with me next to him. I stand next to George with my eyes on the elder Weasley as I am a little happy he is alive, "Here we go. Daddy's back. Sit down, everybody, sit down. That's it. Now, presents." Mrs Weasley tells us as I sit down with me, breathing in, putting a fake smile on my lips, knowing that if I break now, the Weasley's will worry about me, and I don't need that now. 

They are my family, as my family is all gone except for Harry, who is not himself at the moment, with him not speaking to me about what happened with Snape. I wish not to let him in myself becuase I have had more dreams since that time, and it is getting scarier for me to get that much sleep these days. When they were handing out presents, I got a wrapped gift like Fred and George for Mrs Weasley, then got confused about which twin was which. In the end, they got their presents for us three to open up, seeing matching scarves for me to smile sadly on that, knowing that I loved the gift but did I deserve so much from the Weasley's even if I didn't give them anything in return but heartache and the possible death of being near us which hurts to think about. 

Food was passed around with the drinks as well for Mr Weasley to raise his glass, then I raised mine with everyone else as I sat there with my heart hurting, "A toast. To Mr and Miss Potter......without whom I not be here," Mr Weasley toasts as I look at him in shock, not wanting that on me because I do not deserve all this, "Harry, Lillian", they all say as it hurts too much as I have tears on my water line while I put my cup down and then get up leaving the table with a heavy heart not wishing to have such praise from the Weasley's and Hermione for the matter of saving Mr Weasley when I could have killed him. 

I sat in my room by the window, holding a moving picture of my parents, who were dancing while I looked at them with tears running down my cheeks. It hurts too much, "I don't deserve all this praise, mum, dad", I whisper to the picture hugging the picture and sobbing silently as I hear feet coming to my door, "Pebble's" I heard someone talk to the door as I look over at it suspecting it might be one of the twins, "its Fred, can we talk" I heard the boy ask as I breath in as I wipe my tears away, "come in" I get out as he comes in and then he comes over to sit across from me, "Pebble's, I'm here to..." he was saying as I look to him with my tear stained eyes waterlogged from crying, "I don't want your words, Fred," I tell him as he looks at me as he sighs coming over some more to wipe the tears from my cheeks, "Lillian, I'll always be here to protect you, you know that, don't you," Fred tells me as I gulp in remembering the dream of him being crushed by the wall, "I know, Fred," I say to him as I sigh looking at him as I go over to him as I lay on his shoulder snuggling into his arms as he humms softly while stroking my hair softly which has me feel calm while being in his arms that are warm which lulls me into a sleep that has me let my world drift away while laying in his arms, "I will always love you Pebble's" I heard Fred whisper while I finely go to sleep to the beating of his heart that brings no bad dreams into my head but happy ones.