Up Where We Belong

Epilogue

Hindi ko napigilang ihampas ang kamay sa manibela nang maalala ang huling habilin ni Lolo Carlito.

He left me with good fortune however I should get married before my 30th birthday. And what's worst? I'm turning 30 in 6 months and I don't yet have a good prospect for a wife.

Kung pwede sanang kumuha ng sino nalang diyan na magpanggap na asawa ko ngunit hindi ko rin lubos na maisip iyon. Of course, I need a wife but it doesn't mean I should be remiss in choosing one. I need someone who's reliable, with good background, sa family man or education, and someone who wouldn't tarnish my name.

Saan ako makakakita ng ganoon? I was never serious in any of my 3 girlfriends in the past. I'm glad that my relationship with them didn't last so I never felt so attached to any of them.

That's what I'm most afraid of, to get so attached to anyone and lose them after.

Kailan ba ang huling pagkikita namin ng matanda? A year ago? When he looked for me because he was ready to acknowledge me as his grandson? Ilang taon din ba akong naghintay hanggang sa nabura nalang ang pag-asang iyon na kilalanin nila akong apo? I wasn't after the inheritance. My father was an heir to a great fortune too kung hindi lang sana nalustay lahat dahil sa bisyo at sugal nang nabubuhay pa ito. He died leaving us his debts at hanggang ngayon ay binabayaran pa rin. My mother was a great mother and a wife. Kahit kailan hindi ito nagsalita ng anumang masama tungkol sa aking ama.

To a child who could already weight out things and make his own perceptions about things , I could say my father terribly disappointed us, especially my mother.

My mother had a weak heart. She had been dealing with that since she was a kid. As an heiress of Ramirez, she was privileged to go to the best school. Pero nasira ang maganda sana niyang kapalaran dahil nagpakasal ito sa isang Alcantara. Our family's greatest enemy for years.

At parang katulad nga sa pelikula, they fought for their love and even had me.

But my father changed. He had women, a lot of them.

My mother never left him because she had no one to go back to. She was disowned by her own parents. She faced life and bear with all its hurdles...until my father died. Life got even worse. Her health deteriorated.

She died on the day I passed the Bar Exam. I was left all alone.

I managed to live by myself. The only thing I want to get so attached with is my job. At least, it's something that gives me so much happiness. It's like a badge of honor to be able to work so hard. I am workaholic.

"Bakit lukot na naman ang itsura mo? Don't tell me, wala na kayo ni Lindy?" tanong ni Joriel sa akin. Hinihintay lang namin ang ibang mga katrabaho na dumating dito sa bar. I went straight here after going out of the office.

"Matagal na kaming wala," I replied.

Lindy and I already broke up 3 months ago. She wants commitment and I don't and we found out so early we don't click on that area. She's a career woman with a great life ahead of her. I can't imagine myself settling down and making promises I can't be sure to fulfill in this lifetime. Although my mother reiterated I should find my happiness, I can't bring myself to entertain that idea. Si Lindy ay may bago ng boyfriend and our break-up was pleasant and amicable.

"And you still haven't moved on since then?" tanong nito na tila nang-aasar pa.

I scoffed. "I don't even think about it. Naalala ko na nga lang dahil nasambit mo."

"So, anong inaalala mo? You look depressed, man!" puna nito at nilagok nito ang laman ng kanyang baso.

I glanced at him before sipping on my glass. "I need a wife."