Nightmares to dreams /Sebaciel

Chapter 13- Hurt

Sebastian's POV

I stared in shock at the words coming out of Ciel's mouth, 'is this what he truly thinks of me, he thinks I just want to get laid and leave, I don't understand what I've done. I thought he enjoyed staying over at my house. I guess not'

I looked into his eyes as he stopped shouting, his face instantly softened into something that looked like regret, but he wouldn't have said all that if he didn't mean it. My arms dropped to my sides, and he tried to grab one of my hands, but not before I stepped away from him. "No" I couldn't help but feel so pathetic as I could tell my voice was cracking as I said those words, "I'm sorry, I understand" I took a deep sigh, I didn't want to be here any more, not after that. I stepped backwards spinning around and headed straight for the exit.

I feel so stupid, why would I ever think that someone like me could ever be friends with someone like him. I tried, but I guess it wasn't good enough.

I walked outside the doors slamming too behind me the cold crisp air on my face once more, without a single look back I continued walking, straight past my car without realising I just wanted to walk somewhere to clear my head from everything that just unfolded.

I continued walking through the streets, kicking the fallen leaves beneath my feet as I walked, I had work after school but since I wasn't going to school today I still had a few hours to myself.

I walked to a nearby deserted park, sitting down on the swings, the wind still strong and cold blowing through my black locks of hair. 'Maybe it is my fault maybe I pushed him too much, maybe I talk to him too much, maybe he gets sickened by just the thought of me' I thought tilting my head back to look at the sky it was still raining, but I didn't care, nothing mattered at this point.

I slowly got up from my sitting position on the swing and decided to walk back to school to get my car.

The school yard was empty, all the students in their classes, I got to my car, climbing into the driver's seat and sat there for a few more minutes. I felt so drained like I had no energy to do anything, no energy to drive, but I had to get home.

After a while I turned on the car and began the drive home, I put on some music to see if I could focus on that instead, but it wasn't working, I turned off the radio with a sigh and sat in silence for the rest of the way back home.

I walked up to my front door, unlocked it and went inside, I walked to the nearby mirror examining myself. 'I truly do look terrible' I thought as I traced a singer on the dark circles around my eyes.

I have been able to sleep better this week, but still not what an average person would call a normal or healthy amount.

I looked at the grand clock in the hallway seeing that I still had 4 hours till I had to be at work, so I decided to go back to bed and sleep for a few more hours, the day has only just begun, and I feel drained already.

I set my alarm and climbed in bed, entering a dreamless sleep.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm screaming, telling me it was time to wake up. I switched it off. I had an hour before work, so I decided to get ready, have a shower and have some food before my shift starts as I hadn't had anything yet.

-

After my shift at work had finished I left the coffee shop the fresh air instantly filling my lungs, it had been a slow day, so it was peaceful, it was now 10:30. I entered my car driving back to my house once again, I pulled up in the driveway exciting my car unlocking the front door and walking straight in my room laying on the bed.

I decided to scroll through social media before I went to sleep as I hadn't been on my phone much today, I switched my phone back on after I turned the power off after I left school, I just wanted to be alone.

My phone lit up lighting the dark room I had 3 missed calls and 7 text messages.

I sighed as I looked at who they were from.

Missed Call - Ciel (2)

Missed Call - Funeral Company (1)

Text Message-

-10:34 - Ciel - Hey, I'm sorry about what I said, I don't mean it.

-12:47 - Ciel - Hey me again, I just wanted to make sure you're okay.

-3:00 - Ciel - Hey you weren't in class today, I really didn't mean what I said, honestly.

-5:28 - Ciel - Sebastian please I'm so sorry there was just too many things happening at once, and I got overwhelmed.

-7:04 - Ciel - I know you were only trying to help me, and I'm so sorry.

-9:12 - Ciel - Sebastian, I promise you I didn't mean anything I said. You're not desperate, and I really care about you, you're not selfish you care so much about other people me included, and I don't deserve any of it.

-10:08 - Ciel - I'm so sorry, please forgive me.

I sighed again, seeing those messages just reminded me of exactly what Ciel had said and how disgusted he looked. He didn't want anything to do with my in reality I'm just a burden to him.

It was nearly 11pm, so I decided to put my phone on my bed side table, reminding myself to ring the funeral company in the morning when they opened.

I switched on my bedside table lamp and decided to read for a while before I feel asleep.

Ciel POV

I don't know what to do it's been all day since Sebastian left, he's not returned any of my texts or calls, and I'm really worried about him. Since I watched him leave, and he left me alone in the corridor, I felt instant regret knotting my stomach.

I should have run after him, I should have followed him, I should have done something, I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't mean any of them, I don't even know why I said them.
I'm such a bad person I make friends with one person someone who actually liked me someone who saw the good in my past my dark walls, someone who wanted to be near me. And I pushed them away I shouted at them, horrible things, but I did it and I regret everything.

I held my head down staring at my phone in my hands on my lap as I sat on the corner of the bed.

I read mine and Sebastian's old messages smiling at the fond memories, my smile fell as I came back across our most recent messages, a small tear fell down my face.

I had typed so many messages to him to just delete afterwards. Nothing I do is ever going to make it up to him, I'm a terrible person and an even worst friend.

I laid down on my bed still staring at my phone screen seeing no reply, I turned over in my bed placing my phone on the night stand and trying to get some sleep.

Hopefully Sebastian is okay.