𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎-𝐒𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓 | 𝐤. 𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

㋡𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻

——-

bokuto kōtarō

his name was engraved on your mind like a badly done tattoo. through his confession, through his kiss. his existence was seared into your being.

handsome, respectable and dependable. his attributes barely helped the situation but most of all just knowing how unavailable he was made you attracted to him more.

what a sin it was to be madly in love with the angel that held you the instant he saw you.

though his confession of an indisputable craving for you would make anyone giddy, bokuto-san's feelings only brought more misery.

how unfair it was to only love one, who had room in their heart for another.

there was a raw synergy between both of your lives.

...but it took time to manifest.

the events felt like a fever dream as in the same breath he told you that he wanted you, the same breath he said his last goodbye.

Initially you were doubtful, but it was clear this time he intended to keep the distance between you both. and so did you.

so obediently, you played the captain's little game where you were neither on his side nor against him.

you ignored every delusional thought or urge whenever you glimpsed him. even the silliest one that maybe, he would leave her to be with you.

secretly you clung to that one though, and you existed idly in anticipation of it.

you waited for clues.

you had hopes that the pretending would eventually lead to him swooping you up into his reality one day. A grand prize for playing this stupid charades, that he'd figure out that he only wanted you all along.

but the grin on his face when his girlfriend finally showed up to his final match of the season was nothing that any camera could fully capture. That alone was enough to prove it.

to prove your dreaded defeat.

and that is exactly when your life in his spotlight ended.

———

"It's your second year...you still haven't done any extracurriculars l/n. Keep in mind you need them to graduate" your guidance counselor chimed in as you stared out the window.

picking at your cuticle, pupils small and lost in thought, chewing the inside of your cheek.

"I have another year...right sensei?" distant voice, distant gaze.

In some way it was a defensive mechanism due to the trauma of the heartbreak, in other ways it was the best way you knew how to coexist with ones around you.

the older woman sighed, never really being able to get through to you.

"Your last year is right around the corner but please remember that in that year you'll be fully occupied with assignments and studies for your finals. You might end up regret postponing this to the very last minute. Are you really not interested in any of the clubs? The volleyball club in particular has requested numerous times for you to be a manager. And on your file it shows that you have some history playing...

she just goes on and on.

how long have I been in here?

a decade maybe.

not really but...it feels like it.

the leaves are starting to brown for fall.

it'll be cold again soon.