why are u crying? | billie eilish

18.

"youre lucky i love you"

what? my mouth drops slightly and i just stare at her. "i'm sorry i shouldn't of" she starts saying while getting off of me but i stop her. "are u for real" i look into her eyes and wait for an answer. "well yea. i love you and everything about you. you make me so happy but i understand if it's not the same for me"

a confused look grows on my face. i shake my head then pull her on top of me so she's straddling me. "no billie i do. i love you, so much. you make me feel so loved, these 2 months have been the best months of my life" she smiles then kisses me a few times.

"i love you adrian"

"i love you billie"

"so since you love me" i start saying and her eyebrows perk up interested in my sentence. "you gonna lemme fuck you" i smirk and she laughs. she nods then pulls me into a kiss.

~~~~~

"damn" billie says while laying down on the bed trying to catch her breath. "who knew you had that in you" she smirks which causes me to laugh. "cmon we need to take a shower" i grab her hand and pull her up.

we end up taking a shower together but we just kissed nothing past that cause billie was tired. we finished our shower then went to lay down and we just talked about random shit.

"i really can't believe i'm dating you" i admit and she looks up at me confused "why" she asks. i'm sitting and she's laying down with her head in my lap while i play with her hair. "cause your billie eilish" she laughs "you make it sound like i'm a celebrity or some shit" we laugh together then i start talking
"you should make music. you'd be so good and i've heard you sing and i read that one song you showed me. everyone would love you"

"nah that shits scary" i understand what she means. i mean you have to be so strong mentally if you're a celebrity it's crazy. "yea i get it. i just think you'd be so successful. like make history or some shit" we laugh together again then talk about something else.

"dude you know what i just realized" she says then makes a face surprised face. i hum in response "we've never been on a date" i think about it for a moment and she's right. "i mean unless you count the ice cream thing" i shrug and we both shake our heads no. "our 2 months is wednesday, i'm taking you on a date bro" she says which causes me to giggle.

"i can't believe it's been 2 months bro" i say and she agrees with me. "i'm tired" we say at the same time which causes us to laugh hard. "cmon" i pat the space next to me. she comes up and lays next to me. we end up spooning; i'm the big spoon, she's the little.

~~~~~

billies pov:

"billie come on bro" drew complains. i was getting frustrated so i told her to go and i would just catch up with her. we currently at lunch but i needed to get something from my locker and she was getting impatient.

i finish what i'm doing then start walking to the cafeteria. i'm looking at my phone but i hear someone say "so you're adrians girl" i look up and it's tyson. this dude better shut the fuck up. "yea" i say dryly after he nods. "she's so difficult bro i feel bad for you" i ball my fists up while trying to calm myself down

i promised adrian i wasn't gonna do anything unless he continues to bother her. "stop" i tell him calmly and he laughs. "she's too pussy to do anything with me" i furrow my eyebrows together then punch in dead in the face. he falls back then holds his jaw "the fuck" he yells

i punch him a few more times then stomp on his dick. he deserved that shit. i pull him up by his shirt then whisper into his ear "leave her alone or i'll do worse next time" i throw him back in the ground then walk away. what the fuck what am i gonna tell adrian?

~~~~~

"adrian" i whisper then she looks over at me and hums in response. it's later and we got out of school a couple hours ago. we're at my house home alone cause finneas is with claudia and my parents are doing some shit i don't even remember what cause when they told me i was just think about what i'm gonna tell adrian.

"so" i start saying while looking down and play with the rings on my fingers. "i fought tyson" an angry expression goes on her face. "well not really fought more like i beat his ass but you get the idea" she scoffs "billie you promised me" she yells.

"i know just lemme explain" she makes a face waiting for me to explain. "billie you literally could have just walked away. he isn't worth your time" why is she this mad dude- "why are you so mad. he was being disrespectful" she rolls her eyes. "you broke a promise. that shits annoying"

"i know but" i start to say but she cuts me off. "nah ima just go home i'll talk to you later" she tells me then grabs her car keys then walks out the door. the fuck? it's really not that deep-

adrian got her car the other day and she's in love with it. i told her i had to name it but she said she's not gonna do that cause only weird people do.

anyway i know it's fucked up and i shouldn't be breaking promises i just don't think it's that big of a deal. i ended up calling drew to talk about it and she said she gets where adrian is coming from. i've just never been in a relationship but that's not an excuse. i can't keep fucking up or she'll leave me and i won't be able to handle that