why are u crying? | billie eilish

26.

i hear a knock on my door and i groan. "i wanna be alone" i yell and cover myself up with my blanket. it's been 2 days and i haven't talked to billie. i texted her a few times and called her but she didn't answer either. i've left my room twice in the past 2 days, to get something to eat but it was just crackers both times.

"adrian please" my mom said asking to come in for the second time today. "no mom" i say then over cover myself from the blankets. she sighs then walks away. i feel bad but i don't wanna talk to anyone. i just want billie. i don't care if she mad at me or if she scared me a little bit, she always makes me feel better. i can't believe i fucked it all up. i can feel myself start to tear up again. of course, this is the third time today i've cried. it's only 4pm.

i ended up fall asleep but only for 45 minutes. whenever im sad i never eat and i always get sleepy and fall asleep. i woke up then got up to pee. i walked past the mirror and looked at my appearance. it's one of the many baggy shirts that billie has left here. i have boxers on under them but it looks like i doesn't have anything on under because you can't see them. my hair is up in a bun that's messed up from me sleeping.

i turn on my tv and go to friends and turn it on. i've probably rewatched this show 15 times. joey pops up on the screen and my face grows a sad look. that's billies favorite character. i need to stop thinking about her. i watch that for a couple hours then decided to check my phone. i see messages from brooke, sofia, carlos, ethan and a few other people. but none from billie. i didn't feel like checking the other messages so i just closed my phone. i put my focus back on the tv.

~~~~~

it's a couple hours later but i'm still sitting here watch friends. i'm currently on season 3, it might be one of my favorite seasons. i hear my mom knock on my door again which causes me to roll my eyes. "i don't wanna talk to anyone right now" i say in a sad tone and i don't here anything so i assumed she walked away. i was wrong. she knocked again which caused me to get a little annoyed. "mom please stop" it was silent so i went back to watching friends. she knocked again and i groaned "mom if you're not gonna stop just come in"

i lay down and turn so my back is facing the door. if i start crying i don't want her to see. she comes and lays down next to me. i smell a familiar scent that doesn't smell like my mom. i make a confused face then turn over to face billie. our eyes meet and almost instantly my eyes start watering. "don't cry baby" baby. i missed that. that word caused me to let out a small sob. a tear goes down billies cheek.

she pulls my head on her chest in a comfort way. she pulls me on top of her so my head is in the crook of my neck. "why did you ignore me billie" i whisper, wiping the tears from my face then sit up so i'm straddling her. i wipe the tears from her face and put my bottom lip out. "well one because i was angry but also because i scared you. i felt so bad. i'm so sorry adrian" i shook my head and move my hands on my knees. "no billie. i didn't think that me dancing on her was anything like that."

"i was hardly even mad about that. i shouldn't have raised my voice at you. you should always feel safe with me. i want me to be the person you feel safest with, i'm so sorry" i shake my head "it's okay i promise" she sees a tear fall down my cheek and she wipes it away. "don't cry over me. i'm not worth crying over." i give her an angry glare. "shut up dude" i roll my eyes jokingly and do a stop hand hand motion a couple times at her as a joke.

"for real though. you're too precious to cry" she whispers which causes my face to flush. i cover my face up with my hands but billie quickly pulls them down. "adrian" she gives me a fake angry look. "i look like a fucking tomato dude" i complain. "but a pretty tomato" she says which causes my jaw to drop. i grab my pillow and hit her with it but not hard. we both start laughing hard.

i get serious again then lean down inches away from her lips and she quickly gets serious. "i missed you baby" i whisper against her lips. her tongue darts out to lick her lips. "i missed you too angel" her hands go on my lower back. i smile then finally give and kiss her. her whole body relaxes and her hands make their way to ass and she squeezes it. i lowly moan in her mouth which causes her to smirk.

i pull back and she tries to get me to come back down but i don't. i laugh "so needy" i tease then she looks up at me and keeps eye contact with me. "only for you" she whispers then i bite my lip. she slaps my ass which causes me to push her shoulder. "annoying ass" i complain but try to sound serious but it doesn't work when we both start laughing. "i love you baby" i whisper and she smiles widely. "i love you too" she said proudly. i finally come back down and she smiles then puts her hand on my back of my head and kisses my lips. she adds her tongue in a few seconds later.

i pull away and smirk because she's starting to get frustrated. "what's wrong baby" i tease but i sound serious. "you know what i want" she said with a straight face. "beg for it"

an: SOOOOOO I THINK IM GONNA END THE BOOK AT 30 CHAPTERS LOLLLL