Fight for Everything

01

Sulhaney

Present time

I would lie if I said I didn't remember them.
I remember her smiles and cuddles and I remember his warm bear hugs.
It's mind-blowing how things can change in a minute.
So many things takes place in a minute, simple 60 seconds:-
Twelve breaths
70 - 100 heartbeats
15 blinks
All in a minute

Reality is harsh. We say the world is cruel and it is, but we were the ones too naïve to know any better.
Innocence is something so simple really, you don't realize it until you no longer have it.

I watch the little children in the distance who brings flowers to the graves with their relatives, probably believing the person who's dead is just in a very long sleep and they have to put them there so they'll be safe.
I internally scoff at my own fucked up excuse but deep down a part of me wishes that I was one of those kids who believed that.

I look down at the headstone.
The words seemingly haunting me, "loving daughter, sister and best friend.". 
She was everyone of those and much more it just pains me that all it took was one minute.
One minute I was distracted, one minute I let my guard down, in one minute she was on the floor.
I held her and she smiled at me, even in death she smiles.
She was an angel on earth, both our souls shattered and spirits tainted but somehow she had a bright light that glowed from within her.

I miss her so much it physically hurts sometimes.

The ache in my chest grows unbearable and tears burns my eyes. I clenched my fist trying to stop the shaking.

"It will be okay at some point Haney" Teo softly told me as he came up to me.
One look at me and any normal human being would run the opposite way as I stood dressed in full black with cold bright eyes standing out, contacts actually but if they knew what really lied underneath them they would scream bloody murder.

"I hope so Teo, I hope so" I breathed out.

"I'm going to hug you" he murmurs before inching closer to me and wrapping his arms around me in one of his big brother hugs.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's bad karma or I'm cursed" I whisper into his neck. "Either way it seems like I just attract a lot of pain" I buried my head in his embrace letting my mask slip for a second.

"Come kids we have to start heading back before the rush hour" Rick called out to us.
He had left me with my thoughts knowing that I just needed some silence.

"Yes sure" Teo answers for the both of us.

We piled into the car and drove off making our way to what we hope this time will be home.  

America, the last sliver of hope for us.

It was her birth country, the country she should have grown up in, felt safe and experience normal things.

I came back to here to find peace, closure anything that can spark a bit of life in my dark soul.
I'm alive but it feels like I'm just moving for those around me, I've lost myself when I lost her and the truth is, I don't know if I'll ever fully return.

Afterall some of us are just surviving this thing we call life.

For the first time I felt a tiny bit anxious, my heart constricts as everything in me hopes she found peace.
Just peace, in death.

Releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding I mutter a silent prayer that I would be able to honour my sister.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

What are your thoughts?

Why do you think she wears contacts?

Just realized I didn't put it out there before, there will be swearing in this book. (Just realized that even though it's pretty normal for me, to warn you)

Update coming soon!

Signed
Halnae!