Glee Shorts

Just Like A Maze (Klaine)

After almost twenty years in the thick of it, Kurt and Blaine knew very well that being staple names in the New York City theater district was nothing short of exhausting.

They weren’t even acting in anything at the moment, but it felt like Kurt and Blaine were always wrapped up in something: table reads, conferences, meetings, auditions… They were busy men. All that, on top of raising three beautiful children. Of course, they were loving every minute of it, but boy did they enjoy their time off.

They were currently spending their down time by doing absolutely nothing, which was in many ways the best possible thing to do. The TV was playing some repeat of some show from the 2010s, but neither of them were paying much attention. Kurt was sprawled across the sofa, playing solitaire on his phone with his head in Blaine’s lap, while Blaine fiddled mindlessly with Kurt’s hair, dangerously close to falling asleep.

They only had a few hours of this sort of blissful time off today before Kurt was off to a production meeting about a Mary Poppins revival in which he was seriously being considered to play Bert, while Blaine was meeting with a man hoping to co-produce a new musical with him based on Shel Silverstein's poems, entitled “Where The Sidewalk Ends”.

Kurt and Blaine were only broken from their trance when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs behind them. Slow and gentle, these footsteps were obviously not meant to be heard. Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine with a smirk before sitting up and turning around to face a wide-eyed Hepburn, dressed up with a jacket and a purse in her clutches.

“And just where might you be going, young lady?” Blaine sing-songed. Hepburn cringed and took a couple tiny shuffles backwards.

“Out?”

“Out where?”

“Barbara and I were going to go see Danny’s gig in Brooklyn.”

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a skeptical look. They loved Danny Schuester like family, but it was certainly concerning that Hepburn and her friends were so attached to him. He was in his early twenties with a grunge band, with piercings and eyeliner and groupies. Not exactly Hepburn’s ideal crowd, as far as her fathers were concerned.

“On a school night?” Kurt asked, narrowing his eyes at his daughter. “Plus, you already told us you would keep an eye on Lizzie and Tracy while Papa and I are in Midtown for our meeting.”

“Why can’t you call Auntie Kitty like you always do?”

“Because it seems silly to have Kitty over when we have a perfectly capable fifteen year old daughter who is responsible enough to watch over the household for a few hours while your loving parents both have work to do.”

"If you really loved me, you'd let me go see Danny."

"We really love you,” Blaine insisted. “And that's why we're not letting you see Danny."

“What?!” Hepburn screeched, stomping on the ground in a full, temper tantrum manner. “But Mama and Uncle Jesse are letting Barbra go!"

Blaine pursed his lips and tilted his head. "Uh huh, and Barbra also doesn't have a D in geometry right now."

That bit of information effectively managed to shut Hepburn up for a minute. She frowned, before looking down and muttering "this isn't fair".

"Life isn't fair, sweet pea," Kurt replied with a smile and a shrug. This clearly infuriated Hepburn, whose cheeks turned even more rosy red with her increasing fury.  

"You the worst dads ever!" she exclaimed, before turning on her heel and stomping all the way up to her room, where she made a point to slam her door as loud as she was able.

There was a moment of heavy silence left in her wake where Kurt and Blaine just stared at the staircase, in disbelief. Then they simultaneously burst out into hysterical laughter.

"Did she really just say if we really loved her, we'd let her see Danny?" Blaine asked.

"Ohhhh God, there are tears in my eyes. I can't-" Kurt wheezed, bending over as he laughed.

Blaine was clearly amused by Kurt’s amusement with the situation. He reached out to stroke his back, laughing himself. “Kurt, breathe, oh my God.”

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Kurt said, composing himself. “Sometimes it terrifies me how much she turned out like Rachel.”  

“We used Quinn’s egg, babe,” Blaine pointed out. “She doesn’t even have a shred of Berry DNA.”  

“And it astonishes me every day. She just spends far too much time with Rach.”  

“She was on the Tony’s stage in utero. I don’t know why we’re at all surprised.”

Kurt smiled at Blaine fondly, and Blaine returned that smile easily. “She’s a hoot and a half, our Hepburn.”

Blaine opened up his mouth to reply, but stopped when he heard music coming from upstairs. Loud, blaring, heavy metal rock music, at full volume.

“This is incredible. We’re raising a real teenager,” Kurt sighed, smiling.

“God, we’re such great parents. High five.”

The two gave each other an enthusiastic high five (and a short peck on the lips) before resuming their previous activities. That, of course, lasted all of a couple minutes before their peace was disturbed.

“Daaads!” a small voice whined as their son Tracy came storming in the living room. “Lizzie keeps using my good markers for her stupid art projects, and now they’re all out of ink.”

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other knowingly, and counted to three under their breath.

“Daddies! Tracy won’t share his markers with me.”

Yeah, they were the best parents.