Sunshine

Chapter 15

You sit up when he sits beside you. He again stroked your cheek in a gentle way. You looked at him with worried looks on your face "Koko?". He bit his lips, he thought he could just easily say that to you but it is harder than he thought. "Y/n listen.." he sighed as he then started explaining about how actually the bowl was only worth ¥100 and how much he loved the girl named Akane, his first love. You fall silent as you then back look up at him "I know.. The bowl.. Akane.. I already know about that, koko.. Since two months ago.". You could see how surprised he was. "You do? Why are you staying?! Are you out of your mind?! God! You've should tell and I would just let go of the debt-". "Maybe.. I'm out of my mind.." you weakly chuckled "When I knew about the bowl.. I was feeling like really upset.. I was like Ah what a bastard! I hate him so much! I want to kill him.. But then when I'm back home and saw you, that resentment.. It just disappeared. About akane.. Sometimes when we are asleep.. I heard you calling out her name. ". You could see his expression twisted in sorrow. Guilt builds up inside of him. "Then why.. Why did you never say anything? Why are you staying?" he looked at you confused. "Because.. I've fallen for you.. When I realised that feeling, it's already too late for me to kill it.. So I was thinking.. Just a bit longer.. If it meant I could be with you.. Even if it's only a fake relationship.. Even if it's only for a brief moment... It's fine too" you try not to cry but your tears end up streaming down your cheeks, you did give him your best smile but it's no use, he could see how broken your heart was. He looked at you with shocked and surprised looks on his face. He never knows that you are the one who feigns ignorance for these whole times. He could feel your warm hand stroke his cheek, make his eyes widened and even his tears streaming down his cheek "I..I'm not the guy you think I'm, y/n.. You deserve someone better.. Someone as beautiful as you.. I'm cursed, y/n.. Staying with me only going to cause you more pains..I..I want us-". He bit his lips as he could feel how painful it is to even let those words, one word that end it for both of you. Seeing how he struggled, you gave him a soft smile "Let's end it... Goodbye, Hajime..". Heard you said his name like that, sure felt like someone just tore his heart out. You got up from the bed as you grabbed his hand. Still in shock, he let you lead him out the room "Could you, please leave. Give me three hours.. ". You closed the door as he was just standing there frozen in shock. The time that door closed, he knew he fucked up. He wanted to say something but he didn't even know what he should say to you, so he left. Letting you have the short times you've asked him.

You heard the front door was closed. You leaned your back on the bedroom door, letting your body slide down as you sat there on the floor. Screaming and crying your hearts out. You cried as loud as you could, your throat hurts. You clenched your chest tight, it felt like your chest just being torn open and your heart being ripped apart. It hurts so much you feel like you are dying. You always know it will come to this but you never expect it would hurt this much. You never thought that you apparently love him that deeply. The time he was back, he saw you were gone. His heart sank. He was still in denial as he opened the wardrobe where you two share spaces, there are empty spaces where you always put your clothes. He ran to the bathroom, he couldn't see any of your stuff. The shampoo, the ridiculous rubber ducks you always put at the side of the bathtub. He ran here and there, checking and looking for you traces. The last place was the kitchen. He thought he saw you but that was only his imagination when he saw the apron you always wear. He falls on his knees, realising what he has done and how bad he fucked it up.He shouldn't have let your hand go.

It's been months since you parted ways with him. You managed to live hidden from him as Inupi cover it for you. You sighed as you sat in the waiting room of the hospital. You heard the nurse call your name as you made your way to see the doctor. "How are you doing, l/n-san?" she smiled at you as you smiled back "Are you able to eat more regularly now? Ah please lay down on the bed over there". You nodded your head as you lay down on the bed "Thanks to the vitamins you gave, I could eat more lately.. The nausea still comes and goes but I think I get the hang of it already..". "Ah that is good news, we need you to gain more weight for the baby also.. Now let's see how your baby is doing this month" she smiled at you as your face brightened up. "Everything looks good... Would you like to see, l/n-san?". "Y-yes please" you could feel your heart racing, as you were excited to know how your baby was doing. You feel like you almost cry when you see your baby. "This is the head.. This is the hand.. And this.. This is the feet.. The size is a bit small but you don't have to worry since this is still considered normal if we are looking at your genetics. Your baby is healthy.. But please make sure not to stress yourself too much since around this time, your pregnancy isn't that strong yet due to your health. Ah, would you like to know the gender?" She looked at you who clearly overwhelmed. You couldn't help but cry a little. You are glad that your child is healthy and well "Oh no.. It's alright.. I would like it to be a surprise.. C-can I have the pictures of these?". "Of course. How's your husband doing?" she asked as that a bit made your heart feel like being squeezed yet you managed to pull a fake smile. "He is doing alright.. Thank you for asking.", after a few more check ups and talking with the doctor, you sighed as you could feel your back a bit sore. You could feel a light kick as you stroke your stomach that you are unable to hide anymore.