Yasmin

Dec 25th

-kehlani

I lay awake while Yas softly snores. I'm not completely sure if she purposely kissed my neck... or if it were a accident. I'm just gonna go with a accident because she passed out right after kissing my cheek.

I'm irritated with myself for the way my body reacted to her gesture. My neck has always been my weak spot... I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself, I was caught off guard... if I were aware it wouldn't have happened.

It's a constant battle between my brain and my dick. Just like my male counterparts... I can think about sex 24/7. I fuck without having feelings. I do it now, it feels good in the moment but it's an empty act.

I mean I do care about Cassidy. She's amazing in bed, beautiful and she has a good heart. I just really think I'm not cut out to be someone's girlfriend. She's the first woman that I've ever let get close to me.

All the others were just sex and something to do. I still just feel hallow when it comes down to it. Cassidy wants more and she keeps pushing the idea of us. She wants me to knock her up so badly. I always have to stop her to put on a rubber, which is irritating.

"Kehlani... mooore... please.."

"What Yasmin?"

She moans softly... her voice is soft and needy... she's really having a wet dream about me.
I lift her gently over on the bed and she opens her eyes.

"Wh-hats wrong? Is it breakfast time?" She murmurs.

"Nah... go... go back to sleep Yas." I'm annoyingly hard, maybe I should call Cassidy.

I sit up and Yasmin does the same. "Are you leaving? It's night time..." she mutters sadly, looking at the window and then me.

I cover my erection with a pillow. "Im not going anywhere but to the bathroom." I exhale in frustration

"Im sorry." she turns on her side.

I gotta remember she's this way because of Vickie leaving her at night... being gone for weeks...

"Yasmin, don't cry... I'm not upset."

"I'm just afraid you will leave me and I'll never see you again." She sniffs.

"I promise that won't happen, you have to trust me babygirl." I rub her shoulder.

She turns to face me, laying her head on the pillow that I have on my lap.

"Yasmin..." I grip her shoulder.

How do I explain this without seeming like a damn weirdo...

"Yess?" She re positions herself... putting pressure on my dick. "It's something poking through the pillow kehlani... do you have a gun?" she says excitedly.

"It's not a g-gun!" I tense up when I feel her hand grabs me. I push her over.

"I- I'm sorry... I thought... did I hurt you?" She sits up coving her mouth.

"Nah... it's- it's fine... but do you mind sleeping in your room tonight?" I question... I need to take care of myself one way or the other...

I don't think I feel like being bothered by Cassidy tonight... and her 10,000 questions...

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious my dick is hard Yasmin?"

"So...." She argues "I've been wet before... just go pee and wipe it away."