Crushing On Him... (Diggy Simmons Fanfic)

Chapter 16

I took time to breathe and then walk back to campus. Thinking about it all, I knew that there was nothing I could do. I'd never stand between Daniel and his child. Ever. That was his daughter. It dawned on me that he wanted to step up as a dad and make an effort. All that I could do was focus on myself and my studies, do more readings at home and keep my head in my books...

"Y/N?" I heard a confused voice call to me as I walked across the college greens that opened up the entrance. I looked to my left to see Jason gathering his things from where he sat under a shaded tree to come and approach me. I stayed clutching my books across my chest and trying to stop myself looking so.. down. But Jason, the ever observant guy that stood in front of me, knew my heart for what it was. He read me like a book. "Something happened..." he observed from my face. It didn't matter how nonchalant I tried to keep it. "It's nothing.." I tried to shrug it off like I wasn't upset. "Y/N, don't play wit me" he told me. I sighed. "He.. couldn't make it for lunch cause he's gone to see them and spend time with them" I kept my my head down and glanced slightly at him as I spoke. "Y/N.." he tried to comfort me but I backed off. I didn't need sympathy. "It's... alright" I chuckled uneasily. "Well.. have you eaten?" "No" I shook my head. "Well... my mom says I make these amazing barbecue wings.. wanna try them?" he asked me, swaying his torso like a child and acting shy. It made me laugh. "Sure.. why not" I smiled.

"You really weren't kidding, huh?" I licked the sauce off my fingers once I'd licked the chicken bone clean. Jason chuckled as he tilted his head at me. "Your eating habit is probably the only thing that hasn't changed" he shook his head. I laughed to myself as I turned the pages of my Economics textbook. "We gotta read up on this too" I said with my pinky placed on a page that I'd turned. "Mm, let's start that one now.." he agreed, wiped his fingers and grabbed his pen. We spent the rest of the evening laughing between studying, note-taking and finger-licking chicken. Eventually we'd done our readings on this lesson and probably the next and sat up on my bed watching tv comfortably. I'd glance over at Jason, who laid at the foot of my bed, as he'd chuckle at the odd thing we saw on tv. I remembered that laugh. It comforted me. No, I wasn't thinking of getting back with him, but he did make me feel safe. Sometimes, and even more so lately, more than Diggy.

"I remember the last time we did this.." Jason smiled a little in his voice. "Yeah.. and you remember what happened after?" I stated, raising my eyebrow to him. "Yeah, we kissed and made out for a while.." he turned his head to me, smiling as I sat up against the headboard of my bed. "Then Diggy came to make you jealous.." my voice trailed off as Jason glanced to the floor. "Yeah" he said plainly. Regret and annoyance arose in his tone and I knew I just ruined the conversation. "Sorry, I just.." "No. Cause that's what happened" "I'm sorry it happened" "Why? You wouldn't be right here, everything would be different" "Yeah.. maybe it should have been" I said, without even thinking logically. I was just upset at the whole Alyssa situation. If I had stayed with Jason and away from Diggy, there wouldn't be a baby Sophia. I'd probably still be with Jason.. and Diggy with Alyssa. I was just mad, over-thinking it pushed my emotions into anger and resentment at how everything played out before. Ugh. "No, cause if it was any different, you wouldn't be who you are. Everything right now would change. Just.. don't think like that" he smiled gently at me, to reassure me. Which didn't really work. It just made more room for me to overthink shit. 

I heard a key open in the front door, assuming it was my roommate, I took no notice. She knew Jason was here. But then there was a knock on my door and it opened when I replied, "Come in". It opened fully. Diggy stood there. Seeing me first and his face looking solemn and a little relieved to see me, but when he glanced at the end of my bed to see Jason looking back at him, his face stiffened. His jaw clenched and his fist crushed the doorknob that he still held onto. "What's he doing here?" Diggy looked at me and Jason sat up as he was being mentioned in conversation. "Diggy, you didn't even call or text to say you were coming." "Do I have to?" "Yes, suppose I'm out or busy?" "Busy like this?" "What does this look like to you?" I asked him and he couldn't respond with what he was assuming. "We were studying and reading up on the class, we ate and now we're watching tv. What the hell is your problem?" "I asked him. He was just.. stunned. Often glancing in Jason's direction in... embarrassment? Anger? He didn't want Jason here, but he knew he was wrong for making assumptions. "I’ll just leave” Jason sensed the awkward silence and made his way to get up and gather his notes that we’d made today. “Jason, you don’t have to” I empathized towards him. “No, no y’all obviously have to talk…” he excused and awkwardly made his way past Diggy, who despite having his head dipped toward the floor, maintained a careful glare on Jason as he moved. I followed Jason out and to the front door, Diggy keeping his eye on us the whole time, just in case we'd exchange a kiss or anything lesser. Anything. Ugh. This boy frustrated me.