𝐍 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 . sakusa kiyoomi

08. the chicken is in the cooch

narrator's pov.

after cleaning up in the bathroom, you went back to the main area of the event. you couldn't find atsumu again and a none of your other friends were in sight.

"mind if i sit here?" you asked kiyoomi.

"please," he pointed to the chair on his table. "sorry about the dress."

"that was probably me but it's fine," you sighed. "probably the most interesting thing that'll happen to me tonight."

"these things are always boring," he hummed.

you leaned your head in your hand - you had definitely had too many drinks. "you're telling me. i didn't even want to come."

"atsumu?"

"yup, and he left me as soon as we walked through the door."

"he's an idiot," he said, lifting his martini glass up to his lips.

"but that's typical," you laughed softly. "hey, did you come with anyone?"

"no point," he sighed. "i wouldn't put the few friends i have through this."

"so generous of you."

"what can i say? i'm just too kind," he joked.

you crossed your legs and picked up your glass, "yeah, i would say it's your trademark characteristic at this point."

you downed your glasses at the same time. "fuck, i hate when they do that," he groaned.

you looked around you, "what?"

"table to your left," he pointed discreetly.

it was two teenagers sitting next to each other and making out. you looked away and shook your head, "pda is disgusting."

"high schoolers are disgusting," he told you.

you shrugged, "young love or whatever."

"i can proudly say i never did any of that in public when i was a kid."

"that's quite sad, sakusa," you smiled.

"jesus, y/n," he shook his head.

you looked back at the table next to you and they were still going at it, "seriously, where are their parents?"

he lowered his voice a little, "one of them is my captain's kid."

you gasped and whispered, "wait, the dilf?"

"the what?" he laughed. that's probably the first time you've seen him laugh.

you began laughing with him, "don't tell me you wouldn't fuck him."

"i've never once had that thought, l/n. you're a very imaginative person."

"that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, sakusa."

"my god, i really hope that's not true," he furrowed his brows in confusion.

atsumu stumbled over to the table and wrapped an arm around you, "stop verbally fucking my date, omi-omi."

you rolled your eyes and pushed him away gently, "get fucked, atsumu."

"yeah, what she said!"

he pointed to you and blew a kiss, "if it's by you, mommy."

"atsumu, shut up," you smacked his arm.

"oh no, what happened to your dress? did someone do something?" he frowned.

you thought of something to tell him that didn't involve kiyoomi, "i'm sorry, 'tsumu, it's my fault. i was a little tipsy and i spilt my drink on the dress."

he nodded, "oh, is that what happened?"

"yes? what else?"

"makes sense," he said. "anyway, i'm leaving, bye."

"what- where are you going now?" you grabbed his arm.

"uh, bathroom."

—

"everything's going according to plan," atsumu updated bokuto. they were standing in the back car park away from everyone else.

"they're talking?"

"yeah, dude, he even pulled his mask down - and not just to drink!"

bokuto smacked his hand over his mouth and crouched down, "shit's getting real."

"i asked how she got the spill on her dress and she lied to me about it! look at her covering for him and shit," atsumu leaned against the wall.

time to fill you in: atsumu had purposefully pushed sakusa into you and tried to run away before he could notice. he had enough time while you were in the bathroom to evacuate the people you knew from the dining hall, and luckily, they were finished with eating anyway.

"you're happy she lied to you?"

atsumu smiled, "point is that they're clueless."

"what's the next part of your plan?"

"well, friend, the next part of my master plan is the part in which you are involved," atsumu smirked. "i'm gonna act drunk and you have to take me home."

"won't y/n come with you?"

"no, we're gonna facetime her from the limo and say it's too urgent to wait for her," he explained.

"but she'll come home if it's really urgent," bokuto said.

atsumu placed his hand on his shoulder, "she doesn't care about me that much, bud."

—

atsumu and bokuto walked past the dining area to make sure you were still with sakusa.

"the chicken is in the cooch, i repeat, the chicken is in the cooch," bokuto whispered to atsumu who was standing behind the pillar next to him.

"what?"

"they're still together," bokuto rolled his eyes.

"go, go, go, no time to waste," atsumu rushed him down the hall towards the back exit.

—

bokuto had his arm wrapped around atsumu, "sorry, y/n, he's really really drunk and we gotta go now so we'll just meet you at home."

"nooo! i'm not drunk," atsumu slurred. he was surprisingly good at acting intoxicated, which may or may not be concerning.

the exit was 30 seconds away so you didn't understand why you couldn't go with them.you were going to dismiss it until you remembered that you used the last of your money on a sandwich earlier.

"wait, how will i get home? the limo left and i don't have enough money for-"

"ah- eh- er- kshhhh, i think we're breaking up we're going through a tunnel," bokuto said.

you furrowed your brows and scoffed, "you're still outside the venue."

"ohhh no, my phone died!"

you groaned and shoved a piece of cake into your mouth aggresively, "fucking atsumu."

"what happened now?"

"he's drunk and bo is taking him home, but i came with him," you complained. "he didn't even transfer any money for a fucking cab."

kiyoomi leaned over in his seat, resting his forearms on his lower thighs, "i can take you home if you want."

you shook your head, "you don't have to do that."

"how else are you getting home?"

you opened your mouth to speak but were struggling to find words, "i'm sure i can find a way."

"it isn't a problem, atsumu's house is on the way to mine."

"well, if you insist."

author's note
stomach pain is a lifestyle