Chapter 50
It was her voice. It was her voice that got me feeling things. Sure, it was definitely the first time I saw her, but hearing her sing that song whole-heartedly while playing her ukulele warmed my heart in so many ways.
But that was just it.
I was interested but I never planned on pursuing her.
I was her Instructor and I should draw the line.
I just don't know what came to my mind when I started doing things for her. I know I shouldn't. I shouldn't put her in a situation that may harm her in the future. But I can't help it.
What I knew as a simple crush grew into something more. Hindi pa nakatulong ang pangungulit ng kapatid ko. She knows I like Hope.
"Go na, Bro. She's a total catch!" She would say every chance she gets. Eversince she met Hope, lagi na niya itong sinisingit sa mga usapan namin.
"But she's my student," I would reply. Then it would earn a frown from my sister.
"So? Is that a crime?" And I wouldn't be able to answer.
Tracy has always been so supportive. She said she could see it in my eyes- that I like her. That I'm drawn to her. And she would push me and say she would hurt anyone who will try to get in the way of my happiness.
Hope's my happiness. She's the best thing that happened to me. And hurting her in any way is the least thing I wish to happen.
No, I don't ever want to hurt her.
So when it happened, it shattered me. I saw how broken she was. I've read what the students thought about her. It awakened the rage I didn't know I had inside.
How dare them for judging her? How dare them for throwing her words she doesn't deserve?
I did everything I can. I asked my friend Nate to help me. Even he, was surprised to know Hope's my girlfriend. She met her at a concert we went to together. He never said a thing but willingly helped. That's just how he is. That's why I asked for help from him.
I didn't tell my friends that I have a girlfriend. Not because I'm ashamed but the less people who knows about our relationship, the safer. So I promised to only tell them when it's okay to go public. I'm sure they would understand.
But just when I was about to explain everything to the Dean, she broke up with me.
I was quite surprised. Because I thought she would never give up on us. At least not that early. But I figured she read the comments and I understood how draining it could be. I understood because I saw the pain in her eyes.
So I chose to let her go.
I don't want to cause her pain. Not anymore. And perhaps that's the best things I could do- let her go so the pain will stop.
But it wasn't the case. Apparently.
That night we broke up, I heard her sing for the last time.
That voice.
God, that voice.
And when she looked at me while singing, I knew she was just trying to do what she thinks is the best for us.
I didn't finish the song. It was too painful to hear. It was like her saying goodbye to me. To our relationship. To our memories.
With heavy heart, I left the atrium and went straight to my car.
I spent a few minutes processing everything.
It fucking hurts. It hurts just to be reminded that we're no longer together. That I don't get to hug her again, to hold her again, to kiss her again. But eventhough I can no longer do those things, I know one thing that I will never stop doing. And that's loving her in any ways possible.
