He Says He's Just A Friend

Chapter 30 - Don't Think Twice, It's All Right

- Clay -

After school Thursday, I ditched my friends who tried to coax me into an evening of video games, pizza, and beer at Brandon's to celebrate my Lazarus-esque return to the land of the living. I made the excuse that I had way too much make-up work from three days of school missed. Although, thanks to Summer, I only had one assignment to finish to be caught up with my classes. I knew Jackson knew she'd done this, but he said nothing, which I loved him for. This was one of the many reasons he was my best friend. He knew sometimes I just needed time for myself. He was my only friend who knew about my anxiety disorder and my panic attacks. Not even Emmett knew about that.

My heart pounded as I stood on Emmett's porch. My shaky finger hovering an inch from the doorbell. It seemed odd to be nervous. I had been to Emmett's house so many times, never thinking twice about it.

Sure, I got excited at the thought of seeing him. Being in his room. In his bed. But these nerves plaguing me were new. Maybe it was because I hadn't seen him in almost six days. Maybe it was because of what happened at the party.

I wondered how I would feel if Emmett told me he was dating Duke.

Devastated. That's how I'd feel.

No. I knew why I felt like this. It was everything Summer said. Maybe she was right. This half-life I had been living in order to keep Emmett was tearing me apart. It literally made me physically ill, knowing that Emmett had hooked up with someone else—which Emmett had every right to do.

Hearing the clicking of the front door being opened, I jumped back a step. Mrs. Noble's eyes went wide upon seeing me. "Clay! I'm so glad you're feeling better."

"You and me both."

"You know Emmett's been upset all week that he couldn't talk to you."

"He has?" I asked, biting my lip to hide my joy. Emmett's distress shouldn't make me this happy.

"Mm-hmm." She nodded. "But he's not here."

My heart sank. As nervous as I was, I was still dying to see him. "Oh. Okay."

When I turned to go, Mrs. Noble called my name. I looked over my shoulder. "He's at Carrie's." She pointed to the white house across the street. "They won't mind if you want to go over and see him."

My lips stretched into a grin too wide to conceal. "Thanks."

The heart-pounding excitement returned as I walked down the sidewalk, listening to her crocs scuffing against the pavement; the click as she opened her car door. My muscles ached to run, to get me to Emmett as fast as my feet could carry me. But I wouldn't let myself be so eager. Not while Mrs. Noble was outside.

I heard the car engine start. I paused at the street while she backed the car out of the driveway. She waved. I returned the gesture before she sped down the street, much faster than the posted 15 miles-per-hour speed limit.

When Mrs. Noble's car made the turn at the end of the road, I rushed to Carrie's front door and jabbed the doorbell without hesitation.

The door opened on a woman who looked almost identical to Carrie, except about twenty years older with faint crow's feet at her eyes and laugh lines bordering her lips. She didn't have Carrie's tight curls, just a slight wave in her russet-brown hair.

"Can I help you?"

"Mrs. Noble said Emmett is here."

She leaned on the door, tilting her head. "And who are you?"

"My name's Clay. Emmett is my friend."

"Ah!" She smiled, looking me over as she stepped aside to let me in. "They're in the pool." She pointed to an archway at the end of the hall, using her hands like a flight attendant to give me directions. "Just hang a left through the kitchen and out the sliding door."