He Says He's Just A Friend

Chapter 46 - I Contain Multitudes

- Clay -

Monday morning, Dad dropped me and Rachel off at the front of the school. I hadn't done this since I got my car on my sixteenth birthday. I was embarrassed to be back in this position. I felt like everyone was staring at me.

Not paranoia as it turned out. I quickly realized they really were staring at me. Gawking might be a better word for it. The evidence of the accident was written across my face and arms. I almost wore long sleeves today for this exact reason. But it was so goddamn hot out, I would've had a heatstroke.

"Get a fucking life, losers!" Rachel snapped. She rubbed my shoulder. "You gonna be okay?"

I nodded. "I'm fine, Bean."

She scrutinized me with a look of uncertainty, but she left, running out to the courtyard to join her friends. They had all gathered around Rachel's best friend Jenny to watch a video on her phone. Rachel's new boyfriend ran up behind her and threw his arms around her, spinning her around. He kissed her neck as she giggled and squealed, "Dylan!"

I was glad she'd gotten over Zack. Though Zack probably wasn't as happy about it, since—according to Rachel—her new boyfriend was his best friend until about three weeks ago, when Rachel swooped in. It was astounding the amount of spite one tiny girl could hold. But she genuinely seemed happy with Dylan, and he seemed like a nice guy the few times he'd come around our house. Unlike Zack, Dylan actually made it to his meet-the-parents dinner.

I waded through a current of well-wishers, most of whom I couldn't name if my life depended on it. I couldn't go five feet without someone stopping me to ask, "How are you doing?" or to say, "I'm glad you're alright." Even a couple teachers spoke to me.

I turned my eyes to the ground, stuffing my headphones into my ears, though I didn't bother playing anything, ignoring everyone, even if they called my name. I pretended like I didn't hear. I had somewhere to be and not long to get there.

Pushing through the exit door at the end of the hall, I paused outside to scan the student parking lot. When Jackson's muscle car roared down the lane, I hurried through the lines of cars toward his assigned spot, three down from my space. It stung to see it empty.

My parents had found a way to lock my phone so I couldn't call or text anyone except them, Rachel, and emergency services, so I hadn't spoken to Jackson since Friday afternoon in Emmett's hospital room. The only person allowed to visit me at home was Emmett—with an orchestra's worth of strings attached.

Before Jackson could get out, I circled to the passenger door and climbed in. "I need to talk to you."

Jackson pulled his door shut and cranked the engine to blast the air conditioning, to prevent us from dying in the suffocating heat already encroaching after just a few seconds of the car being off. "Is something wrong?"

"It's about Emmett."

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine."

Jackson silently stared at me for a long moment. "Is this about him calling you his boyfriend?"

I nodded, my stomach twisting into knots. "I am. H-He... He's my boyfriend. We're together. Dating."

"Are you bi?" Jackson asked, curiously. Then he furrowed his brow, quickly adding, "Is that okay to ask?"

"It's okay with me. And no. I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I'm just gay," I said. He stared at me, examining my face carefully. "Does that bother you?"

"I guess I'm just confused," he said. "I mean, you've had at least one girlfriend every year pretty much since like seventh grade."

It actually surprised me he was the first person to bring this up. Everyone else just took my word for it without question. Or maybe they were just too afraid of offending me to ask. Jackson wasn't one for tiptoeing around the subject. Not with me anyway.