With You, Or Without You

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

                     Jim was the man who had brought me here.  I saw him right after Sarah.  My boss even decided to see how I was doing.  They both seemed really confused.  Can't blame them, can I?  The way they think is completely different then  the way I do.  Therefore, they will never understand why I was laying on that gravel road or why I'm laying here.  Jim and my boss both share the same, scared, sick, confused, messed up look that Melanie has on her face in front of me.  Except she has dark make-up running down her face.  Her hair looks like it hasn't seen a comb the whole week I've been here, and I'm pretty sure her mouth hasn't seen much food.  Melanie is a strong girl.  You can't knock a girl like her down.  But give them something they've never thought of before, and they will go from a boulder to sand that slips through your fingers.  She is so emotional right now I can fell her every feeling bouncing off of me.  She's scared, who wouldn't be?  You can clearly see the scars around my neck.  The ones on my arms show, the rest are still covered.  Who knows what she overheard out there.  I'm still scary looking with the hospital surrounding.  Unless there is life being given in the baby department, nobody enjoys coming here.  There is still pain even in the baby department.  Melanie is feeling pain.  She feels, or felt something for me, and to see someone like this, it's painful.  Mad, almost as mad as Sarah for me lying.  And a whole bin full of other emotions she doesn't understand what to do with.  

                        "When were you going to tell me Wyatt?" Her whole body was shaking violently.  I opened my mouth to say something, but, what am I supposed to say?  I never was going to tell her. I would wake up not allowing myself to know.  I let fucked up Wyatt deal with it.  Am I supposed to mess Melanie up too, so she can understand?

                                "You have cancer." She bit her lip to keep a steady face, "You tried to kill yourself, so many times". Her hands were shaking so bad back and forth, black tears escaped her green eyes.  "What is wrong with your life?"  Her question hit me in  the face.  What is wrong with my life?  I killed my dad.  Ruined my family's life.  My life isn't going anywhere.  I wake up with no motivation in my life.  I forgot what my body used to look like before all the scars.  And my life is litterly a living hell at night.  I'm going to die anyway, but I don't want to allow something else to kill me, I rather be in charge of taking my own life.  

                                  "It sucks." I sum it all up.  

                                   She laughed a bitter laugh and walked over to me, I thought she was going to sit down besides me.  In my surprise she slapped me hard, across the face.  Then again.  And one more time.  Three hard slaps across my face.  She just starred at me, maybe thinking about slapping me again.  Her hand moved towards my face, but she just grabbed it with both of her hands and kissed me.  I could taste her salty tears as I kissed the corners of her mouth, her every unsaid harsh word on her tongue and feel the love she had to give me every time her lips met mine. Her body moved over mine, her mouth never moving far from mine.  As I moved my hands up her back I could feel her heart beating just as fast as mine.  The heart rate monitor was starting to beep off the charts.  Let the nurses run in.  

                                     Suddenly something in my mind clicked.  I was glad Jim had found me.  Sad that I have cancer.  And regret ever hurting myself.  I've forgiven myself, my fathers death was an accident.  I want to know what tomorrow will be like.  What it will be like with Melanie.  She pulled back and looked down at me, "Wyatt...I'm sorry...did I hurt you?"  I looked at her confused.  No, not at all.  "You're crying...Oh my..."  Then she did something, she wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed me right below my right eye.  "Don't cry please.  I think...Wyatt I believe I'm in love with you..."  She continued to stop the tears in my eyes from escaping. 

                                      "Mel, where are my pants?"  Melanie looked a little taken aback from my question, but she got off me and walked to the closet, my pants  were sitting up on the shelf folded nicely.  Like on display in a store. She carried them over to me, without messing them up.  "You can't put them on..."  She quietly said standing besides the bed.  I reached inside the pocket and pulled out the little black box I've been carrying around with me for the person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  

                                       I opened the little black box and turned it towards her, "Melanie Miranda, I know I'm a mess up.  And a little scary.  But when I'm with you, I wonder what tomorrow might be like.  Melanie, I know I love you, there's no question about it.  Will you do me the honors as making me the luckiest man to live, and you being his wife?  The reason he is alive."  I felt like I was going to pee if she didn't say anything soon.  

                                             "Yes."  I slipped the ring onto her delicate finger and kissed her, I couldn't stop crying tears of joy.