With You, Or Without You

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

                        My head felt heavy.  Like I was carrying someone else's head along with mine.  The room was white and I was in a bed.  There was wires hooked into my skin.  I felt extremely high.  I don't even care there there's like thirty different wires in my skin. My eyes widened.  The beeping continued.  Then I remembered the scene with my reflection.  I began to panic, my heart rate speed up so fast the beeping beeped uncontrollably.  What is going on? An Alarm went off.  I picked the needles in my skin.  How do you take theses damned things off?  I screamed.  It's all I could do. I couldn't find the rest of my body to move.  I was paralyzed and stuck.  I screamed louder.  I was loosing breath fast, but I had to keep screaming.  A  nurse ran in with men behind her.  Big men.  She tried to say something, but I couldn't hear her over my screaming.  I could feel myself going crazy but I couldn't control it.  The brakes I needed to hit were a inch too far.  She put her hand over my mouth.  I stopped screaming.  I was actually shocked she would do that. 

                          "Calm down honey.  You're safe now.  You've had a long week." She sat down on the bed next to my legs. She took her hand off my mouth and slowly petted my cheek.  Am I supposed to know this lady?  What did she mean 'A long week'? I only passed out a day ago.  Where am I?  I felt sick with the amount of questions I had.  How did I get here?  Why aren't I dead.  I should be.  I've cheated death so many times I'm going to end up in Hell.  I managed to lift my head up a little and puked all over myself.  The lady sitting next to me jumped up.  She wrapped her red curly hair in a messy bun.  Pulled some pink gloves onto her freckled hands and pulled me up to a sitting position.  She started to strip me naked.  I was in such shock I didn't know how to react to this.  I was freezing.  Every hair on my body stood on end.  I just watched her as she wiped my mouth with a wet nap.  The nurse put a new hospital gown around me and got new clean blankets from the closet. I was back to how I was in under ten minutes.  She didn't even pause to gap at my scars.  Her mud brown eyes gave me a sense of security.  I missed my mom.  I couldn't tell if anybody else was in the room with me.  My vision only went on for a few feet till it blacked out.  It was noisy in the room, but it could just be if the door is open. 

                         "Do you remember anything from before you passed out?" The woman cooed to me.  I didn't know if I did or not.  It could have been real.  Or maybe just another illusion.  I rather keep it to myself then admit to more craziness. 

                        "I have to poop." I have to poop?  Where the Hell did that come from?  The lady stood up to get me up...to go poop.  "Um no.  I don't.  I don't know why I said that.  Is my mom here?" Yeah, that sounds better.  Awkward, but how can you act normal when you have no pants on in front of someone. 

                          She smiled, my stomach flipped. Nurses always smile to give you bad news, in hope it would make the heavy news light.  Never works.  Just makes you mad at them for smiling.  Yet on the other hand, normal people smile when they give you good news.  If you take away the scrubs and building she is technically a normal person.  "She's right down stairs.  She's getting food for herself and your sisters." Loretta and Sarah are here too, not sure if that's good news or bad news.  I don't want them seeing me in this condition.  Sarah has seen enough.  More than anybody should in a life time.  "You've got a lot of people who love you, you know?  Half of this hospital is here for you." She patted my hand.  I couldn't tell what she meant by that.  Did she mean the staff?  Like if I needed anything I could ask them?  I didn't know who else would show up.  I screwed over both Melanie and Miranda.  I don't know where Justin and I stand.  Miss Ally probably is too old to be dealing with me.  I know there's others I've pushed away but I can't remember right now.  That's a good reason for them.