With You, Or Without You

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

                          I laid on a soft warm surface. It smelled like fresh cut grass. I spread my fingers out by my side. My finger nails dug into soft dirt and clean cut grass. I was no longer in the middle of the road. Everything was white through my eyes. A different kind of white. A bright white that gave the world so much color, like the devil left and took his colors with him. I inhaled, my lungs never felt so clean. My body didn't feel broken anymore. The scars were gone. I laughed, I felt whole again. All of me laughed, not just half. I spun around to look at the rest of paradise. Below me was a border. A dark purple border graved into the soil and desert land in the other half stared back at me.  But it wasn't just a land scape.  It was a whole different world.  I was face to face with me.  The state of mind that took over me a few years ago.  His hair was black like mine, he was still tall like me.  But his eyes were such a deep brown they looked to be an endless black.  His skin was scared, there wasn't a spot of clean skin on him.  He was just one scar.  That me reeked of alcohol and smoke.  I could feel the coldness coming off him.  The reflection I was starring at is me.  Just he's the other side of me.

                       Standing here looking at this figure made me feel like superman.  Like when he had an Innocent with kryptonite and he turned bad.  But in the scene where he was in the junk yard and split in two.  I feel, I am split in two.  But after he fought himself he turned good again.  I want to be good again.  I wish there was a reset button.  If I had one wish, it'd be for a reset button.  But that won't happen.  It won't ever happen.  I'm human, not some great looking man from krypton destined to save the world and work in a office writing newspapers.  My names Wyatt Leslie Johanson.  I man whose not strong enough to hold his own last name. 

                           "Who are you?" Me and the reflection said at the same time.  Neither of us knew who the other was.  I knew I was looking at me.  Just the feeling of wholeness was surrounding my brain that I couldn't remember why I was bad.  I didn't feel ripped apart from anything anymore.  But the other man probably felt like he was ripped apart.  Ripped apart, shredded and spit on.  I felt sorry for him.  I was tempted to reach out to him.  But I was too scared to. 

                            "I'm Wyatt" We both said at the same time again.  He lit up a cigarette in front of me.  He struggled to smoke it.  He was sick.  He was a cold, empty sick shadow. 

                             "Your only a shadow..." I trailed off to myself.  But shadows don't go away.  You just need to find the right one. 

                               I backed away from the border, determined to stay on my side.  Could he follow me over?  If he could, would he?  He just continued to stare.  I looked around for a way out.  Like a ladder or something.  I didn't exactly know where I was though.  If I didn't know where I was, how am I supposed to leave?  Maybe if I tapped my heels three times I could visit Kansas.  I laughed a little to myself.  Suddenly the whole area began to beep.  It was a slow beep.  Like a beeping on a computer when you hit the wrong numbers.  I looked around, there were no electronics.  Nothing that could make a beeping noise.  It got louder and louder every second.

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep.

                             Continuing till it go so loud my ears were ringing.  I covered them, searching for the beeping noise.  Nothing but autumn trees around me, green grass below me and a cool blue sky above me.  My ears started to ring so loudly the beeping quieted.  My vision became hazzy.  Everything was fading away.  I spun around, looking for something to grab hold to.  My eyes were sucked into two black holes.  I couldn't take my eyes away from my reflections.