a/n:
11K!!!
billie singing fix you has me sobbing.
if u have spotify pls pls pls go check out RainyMood podcast by Misht91 if u don't have the ios.15 update or u have an android
THE SONGS R SO GOOD U DON'T UNDERSTANDDD OMGGG
does anybody even read these a/n's?
lilou roux, november 8th
los angeles | CA
"hey girls!" billie's mom greeted as we walked into the small house. "hi mom," billie said sheepishly. she still couldn't get over the fact her parents were okay with her liking the same sex, so every time they saw us together she would get embarrassed.
she was so cute when she was embarrassed so i wasn't complaining, but it's not ideal for others.
"hello maggie!" i smiled as billie dragged me through the living room, away from the confrontation. the older woman laughed to herself watching the scene play out in front of her.
"that wasn't very nice to your mom bil" i said once she shut the door of her bedroom behind us. "sorry" she apologized looking down to her feet, realizing she was a bit too dismissive.
"it's okay, but you shouldn't be saying sorry to me chérie,"
billie sat down on her bed and took her shoes off, her head starting to twitch a little. "hey love, do you know what your tics are from? i saw them a few days ago but i have forgotten to ask"
"oh uhm, i have tourettes, i'm pretty sure i was diagnosed when i was six" she shrugged laying down on her bed and patting the spot beside her for me. i bent down to take my own shoes off, "do they hurt?" i asked.
"yeah, sometimes- well actually most of the time"
"merde, amour. i'm sorry baby, that must be so frustrating for you" i said empathetically, standing up to climb onto the bed next to her. "yeah, it does piss me off a lot, but it's whatever" she sighed rolling onto her side, facing me.
"what makes them worse? i see you're all tense, are you trying to stop them? you don't have too"
"when i'm stressed, or tired, or like uncomfortable" billie explained as i turned over as well, to face her. "but i'm not uncomfortable now, never around you" she said quickly with a shake of her head.
"what's bothering your mind then, angel?" i asked reaching up to tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "a lot" she said quietly. i furrowed my eyebrows together, "talk to me, bear"
"you have your own problems, you don't need mine"
"nonsense, my love."
billie looked up at me, i could see the cogs turning in her brain, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to say.
"i want to do an-and try more things with you, but i always just pussy out, and it makes me so frustrated" billie said, already tearing up. she covered her face groaning, "stupid, it's so st-stupid"
"no, no, baby of course it's not stupid" i said pulling her hands away from her eyes. "y-yes it is! i just wanna be happy with you an-and i can't! fuck! i just wanna be with you but i'm too damn scared!" she spluttered, the tears starting to fall down her cheeks.
i was surprised by what she said, also overjoyed at the same time, but before we could go into that conversation billie needed to calm down.
"you're getting really worked up, honey. it's okay, i'm right here and i'm not going anywhere. i don't mind in the slightest if you're taking your time"
"but i don't w-wanna take my time! i'm ready, but i'm s-scared!"
"if you're scared maybe you're not ready baby?" i said, and boy was it the wrong thing to say. "no!" she cried shaking her head. she got up from the bed and started pacing, sobbing about how she was ready.
"okay, okay i hear you billie, c'mere mon amour, you gotta calm down now sweet girl" i said holding my arms out as she struggled to catch a breath between sentences. she crawled into my arms, her chest heaving up and down, her body racking with sobs.
the poor thing always got so worked up about these things. i'm glad she's not running away, or pushing me away this time, but this isn't good either.
"shhh, it's okay, you're okay" i hushed slicking her hair back out of her face. billie slid her arms in around me, under mine and pulled herself close. i pressed a few gentle kisses to the top of her head.
"i'm sorry lilou" billie mumbled quietly into my chest. "for what, angel?"
"being like this" she sniffed, "thank you for not giving up on me"
"i was never planning on giving up on you ma fille chérie" i said, billie looking up at me. three words were balancing on the end of my tongue, threatening to come out at any moment, but i held them back.
not yet lilou.
not yet.
YOU ARE READING
Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish
Fanfiction(My darling girl) Billie Eilish, an newly founded musical artist gets a message from a fan. She quickly finds herself off into the deep end when she realises she's falling the local parisenne, who has a secret that could change her life. ᵈⁱˢᶜˡᵃⁱᵐᵉ...
