With You, I'm Everything But Colorless

Chapter 25

Days gone by like a swift blink of an eye. It was only days after that. Maybe a week even. It felt so long already though. Days passes with me not even noticing it. Everyday stuffs is the same, making it feel so long. I sort of feel like I'm ungrateful when I have Sofi with me. And since the day I feel myself having troubles with breathing, I often sleep at Normani's or even Dinah's. I have time with them more frequently now but I don't feel that enough. I don't know if it's just me but I could also sense that they felt the same. Dinah and Normani barely talk like the usual. However, Dinah would still come for some sleepover. And we'd stay there, staring at the wall or distract ourselves when we felt bored by it. Nothing's been vigor about this week. I'd write when I feel happy but now all I can write is these glum words that came from the turmoil of my messed up head. I was actually doing not quite well until Lauren made it worse. Everyday is nothing but an ache. So this is how being truly ignored felt like? I used to feel sad when people just walks by whenever I sing but I never thought this could be like this. It feels like a dang shot through the bone. She really wield so much dominance within me and my thoughts that even just by hearing her name makes my heart ache or even skip a bit. What should I do? I never even felt this before. It doesn't scare me that much as I do before but what I'm more scared of now is that I keep on chasing after her despite getting hurt.

I think I'm falling. And I don't know what to do. It's bothering me so much that I couldn't take care of myself at all. It's bothering me that all the things I write is about her--

Camila just stopped writing when she saw right from the side of her eyes how Dinah harshly took her hand away from Normani's grasp

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Hearing just how the dark-skinned girl raised her voice ferociously for the first time, Camila almost jumped from her comfy seat on the bed along with her heart that raced frantically.

"What happened? Tone it down. Sofia might hear it downstairs" she said to them while still eyeing how they only stared at each other with furious glares. It yielded Camila fear but more likely worriness. They never fought like this

"I don't know what's wrong, Mani. Maybe it's you" Dinah was the one who broke their killer gazes and just looked away to sit on the beanbag of Normani's room and just faced her phone in attempt to ignore her friend

Normani however, only grab her phone away to which in return, the polynesian stood up again, bringing back the glare in her eyes to look at Normani

"See? This is why you're the wrong one here" she sarcastically said yet anger still remained in her eyes.

"You ignored me for a whole fucking month, for God knows what-damn sake Milika. Don't turn the blame on me" Normani told her, voice raising as her speech gets longer. Camila just frowned by what she keeps on hearing and finally decided to intervene again

"Guys, you're scaring me. This argument- let's deal with it without yelling" she told them with a little stutter and awkward shaking voice. Her heart only leaped more when they gazed over her

"This is a petty argument that can't be solved with me not screaming just so she can understand her mistake here, Mila" Normani told her and roll her eyes before turning around to take the duvets they laid on the floor earlier to make a blanket fort

"What now? You'd deal with it by leaving? Taking that- damn blankets for us four not to have the bond ritual just because of me? Great, how selfish of you, Normani" what Dinah said made Normani stopped and just harshly put down the duvets on the floor again as she turned to face her with now tears brimming in her eyes. The sight made Camila widen her eyes for a moment.