With You, I'm Everything But Colorless

Chapter 4

That night, Lauren stared intensely at her phone while biting her chapped lips as her thumb traced the letters of three words on her phone screen with the nails of her fingers

'I love you'

Eight letters that came from someone that once became so special to her but three words that she doesn't feel anymore.

No matter how much she scold herself to just put herself together and say i love you back because he mean it, she just can't. She knew her love for him was real but as time goes by, it decreases

And so she danced her thumb fingers hanging over the screen, not knowing what to reply before typing what first comes through her head

Lauren: ditto, Luis. I'm going to sleep now, take care

The Latina read her reply for how many times, struggling if she will just say i love you back but decided to just settle on with ditto and take care. Don't get her wrong, it's not like she doesn't love him because she did and has always been

Luis is a sweet guy who's giving her rose everyday when they are still dating in Miami. The guy is good looking and tall. He's like; every girl's dream in highschool so when he began to date Lauren, every girls started to hate Lauren as if it's some mean girls movies and shits... she didn't mind them though. Instead, she focused herself to the man who wants to take her hands because why would she even care for girls who hate her right?

After few months of dating, Lauren and Luis became officially together. With that, Luis stopped giving her flowers everytime they'll see and give her a kiss instead. It's not like Lauren doesn't like it, it's romantic and maybe she just really like roses.

They smile everytime they'll see each other and hold hands. Lauren's hands are sweating whenever she's holding his but he doesn't mind. They're in love. They looked so in love.

Until he became cold. He barely text her goodnight, it happened for so many times and when Lauren confront him about it with tears on her face, he apologized. Of course she forgave him (again). But then Lauren found him kissing someone, even holding onto that someone's waist. She cried over that late at night while the man of her life keeps on texting her that he's sorry and he mean his apology

She forgave him. Who is she to say that he doesn't deserve a second chance right? And... it's because she loved him, and she still do.

But as time goes by, she doesn't feel anything. She can't feel the spark when he will intertwine his fingers with hers, she can't feel the warmth on her cheeks when the guy would do some cute faces to her when she's sulking, she can't feel herself wanting a kiss from him, and she can't feel her heartbeat go faster when he will tell her that he loves her.

At first, Lauren thought that maybe she's just tired.. but when the guy gave her a bouquet of roses, she figured out that she's not. Because she can't feel the butterflies in her stomach anymore. Whenever they are watching some netflix and Luis fell asleep beside her, she can't even lift up her hand to stroke his hair while thinking about them in the future. And now she can't even picture herself in the future with their child as what she's thinking before

Lauren thought to just break up with him but she saw the guy work hard to win her heart again. Giving her roses whenever they'll see each other, smiling at her everytime, and holding her sweaty hands. So she decided to just go with it. She was sure that she will love him again the way she did before. Things were going well with Lauren still finding love for him by them hanging out almost everyday until Lauren found out that she'd passed to a school she took exam on

She doesn't know what to feel. She felt like she's so happy and at the same time sad. So she decided to be quiet that time while her boyfriend is crying because Lauren would go to L.A yet happy because her girlfriend will achieve her dreams.