With You, I'm Everything But Colorless

Chapter 33

It's been days since that happened. The Christmas passed with her not feeling anything at all. Today's the twenty-eighth. And she wished that she just stayed. Or even did not hurt Camila. She wished to have done better.

And maybe... chose her

She did not feel anything but she cried. Of course she did. She's that sensitive. She knew she doesn't love him to even shed tears but she just felt so pathetic. She felt dumb and ugly and unworthy of love. How will she face Camila like this?

How will she tell her that all the pain she felt are not worth it?

While walking on the streets of Miami, it now feels so foreign without the chills. It's not winter in here. There were trees that aren't barren but lushed with green. The bright skies above were high unlike the usual ones in L.A wherein the clouds are low and devouring the sun. The tropical air reminded her of the hot days back then wherein she's still in a relationship... days in summer that she and her boyfriend were still inseparable because he refuse to let her go. Days wherein he's taking back her heart. It made her wonder why did he even desperately do that when he'd actually do the same mistake over and over again. It made her realize that he didn't love her with such purity anyway.

She now believe that it's all fake even though he keep on apologising to her. It now occured to her brain that if he truly love her, being faithful is easy. It's not like she's clean in this, anyway. She doesn't love him, that's why she found it hard to have her loyalty intact too.

Everyday after that happened, Luis keeps on telling her that he would change via text as he continues on apologizing. However, she remained not replying. He planned out to talk to her somewhere since he got scared to Lauren's dad and brother, but she learned her lesson. Luis was now blocked without any word. Lauren just simply dumped him.

Running a hand to her philtrum just so to wipe the sweat above her lips, she then traveled her hands to the magazines and newspapers from the kiosk. Her eyes examining them, trying to find something interesting when her eyes caught the labels written above.

Quickly, she took one of the few newspapers from the Los Angeles' line. She examined the pages of it and even found the entertainment section wherein the games such as cross puzzles and sodoku were plastered. She gave her look to the newsboy and asked; "is this new?"

The newsie gave her a smile. "Yes, miss. It was just delivered earlier this morning. There's a date in there if you'd like to make sure" Lauren returned his smile before making sure, listening as the boy whistle a song while waiting for her.

"People are much more interested in L.A and New York's news rather than Miami, huh?" The kid decided to make a conversation in between as he watch Lauren roll the newspaper afterwards.

"Celebs also have their faces plastered in Miami's. I don't understand people sometimes. L.A's interesting for me though so..." Lauren replied as she took a buck from her bag

"It's not much but keep the change" she said to the kid with a laugh.

The boy just smiled again "enjoy reading!"

Lauren said him thanks before she gets going. She made her way to the nearest cafe.

Opening the door, even the handle of that was hot. She went in quickly, desperately seeking for some air conditioner and the calming smell of strong whiff of coffee and pancakes that she immediately met once in. The coffee shop has a warm atmosphere despite its full blasted air conditioner. The Christmas decorations are still present and they were quite busy. It made her miss Ally.

Closing the door behind, she took one of the free Miami newspaper and a magazine from the newsstand. She ordered the usual, making herself feel as if she's still in L.A.
A coffee and muffin is enough after all but they tasted nothing like what she's been used too. It's not as perfect as the texture from Ally's coffee shop. It's too sweet for her liking. The coffee she bought can punch with its strong taste, but she thought it's okay since they keep her up and alive still.