gureshin - the lavenders that grow on your porch

little boy, all alone

[guren's pov]

warning: kind of violent at one point? idk but just warning you in case

Shinya closed the door.

I heard them drive out the street and disappear down the road, to who knows where.

I knew that I could not follow.

My cat purred when I touched her. I look at her fondly then back at the empty room. Most of my days after school are spent like this, just my cat and I, staring around the empty room.

Sometimes Shigure and Sayuri come back early and we talk, but most of the time I'm greeted with the sight of an empty room.

I guess being an Ichinose is lonely. At least Sayuri and Shigure have each other.

I'm thinking about what my father would say to me. He's rarely around, the almighty Sakae Ichinose. Sometimes I wonder if my father preferred to have a different child. A stronger child. Someone like Kureto Hiragi, or maybe even Seishiro Hiragi. I guess he never said anything about me, but he definitely implied it. Heavily.

Sometimes I wonder if he's ever proud of me.

I don't even need to think hard about what I'd think he'd say to me now. He's always asking me to pursue relationships, get a girlfriend. "You're already seventeen," my father told me one of the rare occasions he eats dinner with me, "get a girlfriend."

Or something along the lines of that, I wasn't really listening. 

Anyway, if he was in the room while I was talking to Shinya and Mahiru, he would have told me to stop making friends with people like Shinya and start pursuing people like Mahiru. 

Sometimes I wonder the only thing he cares about is me helping produce the next heir of the Ichinose throne.

Is he that desperate?

Does he think I'm that uncapable of leading? 

He's rarely around, the almighty Sakae Ichinose, not since my mom died.

I don't even remember her name, yet alone her face. My father doesn't keep pictures of her, but if he does, he's keeping them all for himself. 

I can still remember her voice when we saw the truck coming at us.

"Be brave, Guren," she said as she turned around to face me in the passengers seat, "remember that I always love you."

And then the truck crashed into her head.

She died when I was five years old. She died when I needed her the most.

And sometimes I think that my father died on that day as well. 

He cried and he threw things and he haunted the house like a ghost. He hardly spoke to me, hardly looked at me. 

Sometimes I think that he blames me for her death, no matter how stupid it sounds.

Sometimes I think that he wonders everyday, Why couldn't it be him? Why did it have to be her and not him?

Sometimes I think that he thinks that another heir to the Ichinose's can be better.

Sometimes I think that he knows that another heir to the Ichinose's will be better.

"Guren-sama?" I hear a voice. 

I blink. The sky outside has gotten much darker. 8:00 PM, I'd say. My cat has moved from my side to my lap. I don't remember her doing that but it seems like she was there for quite a while.

My eyes adjust to the darkness. I've been staring at the wall in the dark. 

I can see the faint outline of Sayuri and Shigure. I wonder how long they've been standing there.

"Switch on the lights, Sayuri," I say. My cat stirs on my lap, somehow registering that its evening and time for dinner. She jumps off and walks towards the kitchen, meowing at Sayuri as she walks past.

"We bought curry for dinner," Shigure tells me, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah," I rub my eyes. My legs have cramps. 

Sayuri starts preparing the curry while Shigure opens a can of tuna for my cat. I plop myself down on the chair in the dining room and switch on my phone.

I have about a hundred texts, most of them from Sayuri and Shigure, asking me what I wanted for dinner and then telling me that they would buy curry when I didn't answer. 

But there was one text from an unknown number,

I click on it.

The message reads Never realized that you had your cat as your profile picture. Well, it's inevitable, since I don't look over people's shoulders to look at their contacts. 

The user has a white tiger for their profile picture.

I smile.

I want to type something back but I don't know what to say. What can I say? I moisten my lips but I still can't think of something.

"Guren-sama?" I hear Sayuri. I look up from my phone.

"Yeah?"

"Can you unlock the door for the guests?"

I frown, "What guests?"

Shigure looks up from feeding the cat and sighs, "So you really didn't see our messages. Mito and Norito are coming over for dinner as well."

Right on cue, I hear Norito's voice outside, "Anyone in there? It's cold out here, you know."

I sigh and glare at Sayuri and Shigure, "You could have told me, you know."

"We did," they both answer in unison. I roll my eyes and unlock the door.

"Took you long enough," Mito scoffs. She's wrapped up in a scarf that's a size too big. 

"It smells delicious in there!" Norito cranes his neck to look inside my house. I note that his neck is exposed and bare. 

I step away from the door, "Come in." They do so, and Mito closes the door behind her.

It was surprisingly okay, having friends over at my house. I guess I've never invited anybody until today, and it didn't end in disaster.

Mahiru, Mito, Norito and Shinya have been in my house, as well as Sayuri and Shigure.

I'm starting to feel like a normal teenager now. 

In the middle of dinner, my phone gets two messages. From the user with the white tiger.

I open it up.

The first message says, Oh, you're ignoring me now, Guren? You're so rude... 

Then the second, Well I just want to let you know that the flowers growing on your front porch are pretty. Lavenders, right?

I smile again. 

Maybe I'm not alone in this world after all.

a/n: shorter compared to the last chapter haha
the wiki doesn't say anything about guren's mom, so I just made up a tragic story, so don't think it's canon lol. she'll have a role to play, later. 

you'll see.