gureshin - the lavenders that grow on your porch

were you ever proud of me?

[guren's pov]

warning - sad.

"Why'd you have to go?" I stare at the hospital bed, his figure no longer moving, the hospital's monitors no longer portraying his heartbeat, because he simply didn't have one anymore.

(skip to earlier that day)

It's a few months since we had that dinner with Norito and Mito. We have grown closer, there's no doubting that.

School seems to have... improved a little bit, in the grand picture of things. I've made two new friends, or four, if Shinya and Mahiru count. Norito and Mito have grown closer as well, I'm telling you that (cough), and Kureto and Aoi seemed to have come to terms with whatever argument they had.

Mahiru, Shinya, and I (or is it me, Mahiru, and Shinya?) picked out dates on when we should come to my house to rehearse our speech. It's going pretty smoothly.

I've also come to realize that Mahiru isn't as cynical and bad as I initially thought she was. Like all the rumors I've heard before, she's quite kind and humble, though dismissive to Shinya at times. I think I've grown to... like her more.

Today, Shinya took Byakomaru, the Hiragi's cat, to the vet (because no one else was willing to do so), so it was just me and Mahiru practicing our speech. It was going pretty smoothly, and I had quite a good time with her.

Until the doorbell rang.

Ring, ring, ring, it rang three times.

I stop. I turn my body stiffly towards the door. Nobody I knew rang the doorbell.

Sayuri and Shigure have a key. Mito and Norito will yell at the door until someone opened up. The milkman and mailman had a funny knock which made me think that they were the same person. 

No. One. Rang. The. Doorbell.

Mahiru probably saw my slightly terrified face (it was only slightly terrified, though) and looked concerned. 

Ring, ring, ring, it ran three times again.

"Excuse me," I said to her. I walked up to the door and opened it just a crack.

"Yes?" I ask the policemen outside.

"Are you Guren Ichinose?" They asked me.

"Yeah," I start to feel uncomfortable. Was I under arrest for a crime I didn't commit? Did someone I know get hurt? I ran through the possibilities in my head.

Shigure and Sayuri... No, they would have contacted my father and he would have contacted me. Mito and Norito... No, their family would have been contacted first. Shinya... No, the Hiragi's would have been contacted.

The policemen looked at each other. I realized the second police person was not a man but a woman, "Well... we've come to tell you that your father, Sakae Ichinose, has been in a car accident. He requests that you come to the hospital. The doctors don't know how long he'll live for."

I was silent.

Is this a joke?

It has to be, right? What are the chances that both of my parents got caught in a car accident?

And... 

"He's dying?" I whisper, my voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry," the policewoman says, "but the doctors say that he only has a few minutes to live. He wants you by his side when he... departs."

No, this can't be. No, no, no, no. I'm not ready. I can't.

No.

No.