gureshin - the lavenders that grow on your porch

apology

[shinya's pov]

"The third and final apology goes the Shinya."

I shiver in anticipation in my seat surprised even though a part of me knew this was coming, sooner or later.

In the past five minutes, everyone in the classroom has been listening intently to Guren's speech, as if they were I'm a trance. I'm sure Guren is not used to do many people listening to what he's saying. But as soon as Guren said my name, everyone's head snapped in my direction, and I could see clearly everyone's feelings about the speech so far.

The majority of the class looked confused, which was understandable as they didn't really know, or care about, what was going on. There was an intense mix of emotions on Mahiru's face - I could clearly see anger, jealousy, confusion... there was something else, portrayed deep in her eyes, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it...

Shigure and Kureto were clearly amused and Sayuri looked sad, expectant, happy, and relieved. Mito looked surprised and Norito looked like he wanted to eat lunch and if he didn't he would throw a tantrum (he probably would).

Me? I can't really describe what I felt in that moment. Let's just say it felt like what you would feel when you're going through puberty - very reluctant for what's next because it'll cause you trouble and change who you are, but also a little excited for what you'll become when it's over.

No, I'm not admitting puberty was a nice experience for me. It's horrible.

But I hope you get the gist of what I'm feeling. A bit like when you're asked out to homecoming or something.

(not that I'm expecting any of you guys to have been asked out before since you're on wattpad reading a shipfic /j)

I try to ignore most of the stares and focus on Guren, trying to create an expression that'll encourage him to keep going.

And he does.

"Truthfully, I've got a few things to apologize for," Guren says with a small laugh, "so the rest of you might have to be a little patient." 

Multiple things? 

"The first time I started paying proper attention to Shinya was in the second year of primary school," Guren says. I'm a little insulted.

"It was the first day of school and I was getting bullied because I was caught crying. I suppose they assumed that I was simply being a wuss and not because my mother died a week before."

Damn. He just throws that sentence out so casually. I guess there are no more tears left to cry.

"When they finally left, I remember Shinya walking towards me. I've always associated Shinya with the rest of the Hiragi family, which from reputation, I learnt were mostly the opposite of kind, so I assumed that he was coming to give me a round two. So I ran in fear." 

I'm actually surprised he remembered that. It was such a little thing for me, I thought he was in desperate need of the bathroom and shrugged it off in a second. I never knew that it hurt his feelings or something, and definitely didn't know that at one point he was scared of me.

Ha, imagine that. Scared of Shinya Hiragi. Unheard of.

The rest of the class was shocked like me, but I could see the reasoning behind young Guren's thoughts. How would he know that I wasn't like his bullies, or in other words, how would he know that I was as much of a loser as he was?

I was sure that only teachers couldn't see through my fake face. But it looks like I ended up deceiving Guren.

Hey, maybe I'm not that much of a failure at the classic Hiragi Manipulation™ after all.