Green Lights *DNF Angst*

I Truly Do..

TWs: Don't think there's any? Lmk if there are :) Unless you count language-

‘It’s been 2 days since that happened. I still haven’t spoken to him much. It just hurts. I know he didn’t mean it. He’s mentioned that so many times, but it still hurts. I just want it to end. I’ve felt this for too long. I want him to fix it. Either confirm nothing’s going to happen, or we try. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t stop feeling this way by myself’
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A gentle knock broke my thoughts, the Brit himself standing there. I looked up at him for a split second, noticing his fidgeting, looking back at the phone shortly after. I could feel his presence getting closer, his hand softly resting on mine. I slowly looked up at him. ‘Can we talk..? Please..’ I sighed, almost sounding mad at the situation.
“Make it quick. I have something to do after.” He nodded quickly, standing there, looking down. “Are you going to say anything or?-” I jumped slightly by the sudden action, his arms wrapping around me tightly. “George..” I murmured shakily.
“I’m sorry Clay..” His softly voice breaking, looking like he was about to breakdown crying. “I didn’t kno-”
“George.. I know you didn’t mean it.. It just hurt I guess..” He nodded softly, hugging me tighter. “Come on.. Do you want to watch a movie with me and Sap?” He nodded once more, shakily getting up, holding onto me tightly. I gently guided him out to where the panda was sat, stroking the kitten beside him.
“Sup Clay, George.” Sapnap smiled softly, patting the seat beside him. I walked over, directing the older to the middle of us, him slowly sitting, reaching towards the kitten, which was responded with a gently touch from her nose. He smiled softly at her, before looking back at the screen in-front of us, his eyes flicking over the movies. “What about this one? I know it’s horror and whatever, but it looks interesting!” The Brit nodded eagerly, both of their eyes resting on me.
“Just play it. I don’t care. Don’t come to me when you’re scared though!” I wheezed, gently pushing the boy beside me towards the Panda.
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“Fuck. I don’t feel ready.” He chuckled receiving a eye-roll from the boy beside.
“You’ve been delaying it so much. We have an excuse to do more things if you do it now.” The Texan responded. “And don’t say you’re fine staying inside blah blah blah. You need to go outside for once. You both do.” I scoffed softly in response, the younger sighing.
“You’re an idiot Snapchat. Just.. Just one of you start the stream.. I just want to get it over with..” I sighed softly, gently hugging the younger, nodding to the youngest, his fingers typing on the keyboard in-front. 3.. 2.. 1..
The stream went as per usual at first, until we received a signal from the American. It’s time. He shakily put on the mask, turning on the camera. I stood in the doorway, waiting, not patiently. I was fiddling with the end of my hoodie, bouncing in the spot. His hand moved to form a thumb up, Sapnap and I walking over. “Hey, who are you?” The Texan asked, trying to hide the nervousness and chuckle in his voice. With a sign, I took off his mask, kneeling behind him, smiling to the camera. The chat immediately went insane, causing a nervous chuckle to escape the younger’s mouth. He carefully grabbed onto my hand, obviously nervous.
“Yes chat, it’s actually me..” He chuckled once more, looking at the chat out of habit and nervousness. Majority of the chat was supportive, relieving the Younger. After a few minutes, the stream ended, the younger collapsing into his chair. “That was actually terrifying. Why did I do that. Why did you two make me reveal like that? That was actually torture.” I let out a small giggle, hugging him softly.
“You did amazing Clay, alright. Do either of you want a drink? My throat hurts from all that screaming.” He chuckled at the end, myself and the blonde shaking our head in disagreement.
“We’re alright, thanks though Sap!” He smiled softly, the Texan returning the smile and exiting. The younger closed his set-up, flopping onto the bed. His muffled voice was heard after a few seconds of silence.
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“George, you can go if you want. I’m probably just going to be lying here for a while.” I murmured, my voice muffled. I waited a few seconds, hearing nothing. “George?” His small arms wrapped around me tightly.
“You did amazing…” He mumbled under his breathe, immediately making my smile wide.
“Thank you Georgie.” I smiled widely, his golden-brown eyes looking into my green ones. His arms tightened for a bit, before releasing, sighing softly. “Is everything alright Gogy?” His head nodded softly, smiling at me.
‘I just need to message someone. If you need me, I’m in my r- the guest room.’ He smiled once again, starting to walk away.
“Wait George!” He turned swiftly. “I love you..” I smiled widely, watching him leave before resting again the bed, sighing shakily. I truly do love you, Gogy..
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“Wait George!” I turned back towards him swiftly “I love you..” I smiled softly back, before turning and exiting. I know you do.. I just wish I could say it back.. I walked into the bedroom carefully, shutting the door behind me. I’m sorry for lying Clay.. It’s just getting hard to continue speaking.. I thought I was getting better.. But… I guess not.. I’m not used to speaking this much I guess.. I guess I just need to get used to it.. It’s so hard though.. It’s so hard.. My throat aches.. My heart races.. Everything is just… Hard to do..
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Word count: 964 :)

A/N: I'm sorry that this was so delayed- Something happened a few days ago, and I wasn't planning on posting, but here we are. You all are amazing, and I didn't want to not post for you :) Have a good day/night frens!

Total word count: 1030 words frens :)