||Beefsteak || DSMP ||

24. Its Because He's the Gods' Favorite

Belle's POV
"Me?"
"Yeah, can we talk? Alone?" Techno repeated.
Anita and Tommy shared a look that made them mutually agree to leave me there.
Alone.
With whatever I now had to deal with.
He'd been weird and quiet for the past few days, but I didn't seem to care too much. I'd been spending too much time with Wilbur to notice.
"You've been spending a lot of time with Wilbur lately."
"What? No."
"Why are you denying it?" He said with anger and accusation.
I stumbled over my words. "I meant, like.. what do you mean."
"It was just an observation." He shrugged, attitude wafting off of him.
"What's your deal?" I asked once I got my thoughts straightened out.
"You need to be careful with him is what. Stop humoring his crazy fits."
...
"I'm not trying to."
"Well, you are Belle." He deadpanned.
"He's surrounding me 24/7. What do you expect me to do?"
He crossed his arms and looked away. "I dunno.. leave?" He shrugged.
It was my turn to deadpan. "You bring this up with no idea on how to fix it?"
"Well, it's a problem and problems should be fixed."
"And you don't know how."
"Neither do you! But face it! He's sick!"
"Leaving him alone like that won't help!"
He laughed at me.
"What?! What's so funny about this?!"
"You-" he ran his hand through his hair. "You like him..."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Are you serious?"
"Are you?" He leaned against a wall.
"I don't have some- childish crush on the man I work for!"
"Work for? Cmon! Why are you even here?"
My eyes went wide, then fury boiled in my gut.
"I'm here because everything else I had is gone. I have no family, no place to belong to!"
"Okay.." he rolled his eyes.
"I've been controlled by an evil, manipulative system of power hungry maniacs my whole life!"
"Then why stay here, huh?!"
"Because I don't know anything else! That's all Wil is to me, alright?! I know he's using me! I know he doesn't really care! But I don't either! I care about nothing except Anita and her well-being! Especially not Wilbur, you or anyone!"
He stood up straight, a single pace from me. I hadn't realized that I was getting closer with every word.
"You're lying."
"What?"
"You wanna change your answer-"
I smacked him across the face.
Bone mask hit the floor in two and I looked back up. His face stayed pushed to the side, hair covering his face. He was like a statue.
"I meant every single word." I spat.
A shuffle came from behind me.
Wilbur stood by the stairs, frozen. Eyes telling it all.
"Wil-"
He turned and ran up the stairs.
I let out a shaky breath and turned back to Techno who was grabbing his jaw, eyes squinted.
"I tried to let you change your answer.." he said sadly.
"I- why did-" my mind raced around too fast for me to keep up.
"Go talk to him!" He yelled and I flinched, eyes going wide.
His expression softened as I held my arms up in defense. "Belle, go." He changed his tone to stern instead and I sprinted.

Anita's POV
We were both listening very intently through the door that whole time.
"Does Belle really like Wil like that?" Tommy asked. "I thought she liked Techno."
"What? Wilbur likes her but she obviously doesn't like him back." I replied, referencing to the door and the speech shed just given about it.
"You think Belle was honest about her feelings?" He deadpanned.
"You don't know her."
"I do to! And even if I didn't, you don't really have to be a rocket scientist to know she's not even honest with herself!"
I huffed. "Belle's only ever cared about keeping me and the crown safe. She's not the type to fall for anyone, and sorry, especially not your brothers."
"You know nothing about love, huh?"
"I know plenty, thank you!"
"Sure!"
"I'm in love now, bird brain!"
Oops.
My hand shot over my mouth.
His hand shot over his mouth.
"I-" I began but he interrupted.
"I'm so sorry Anita, I know I'm amazing but I just don't feel the same way-"
"Oh shut up!" I scoffed, allowing myself to laugh.
Silence of the most awkward variety fell.
"I think they're both in love with her and she doesn't like them." I said timidly, after a minute.
"I think she's in love with at least one of em and they don't know it."
"Techno's jealous as hell."
"Or he's just mad."
I shrugged. "He's jealous, but.."
"He's really not, but.." he also shrugged.
...
"Wanna go burn something?" I asked.
"Oooh!"

Belle's POV
"Slow down! Please-"
He stopped moving and I halted a few steps behind.
"I know you don't care.."
My heart sank as he sniffled.
".. about me."
"No, Wilbur I-"
"But please know.. I never wanted to hurt you."
He stayed turned away from me, and I couldn't bring myself to move.
"I saw you as a tool for far too long.. but the more I spiral, the less things make sense, and the less people make sense.." He took a sharp breath. "But you've become one of the only things that does. It's you and it's- it's blowing that place to kingdom come- but you've been so so nice. You've been patient when nobody else is.. and I- it's like the more I unravel- the more I don't want to use you anymore."
His tone wasn't sad.
No, he was too lost in honey-sweet thoughts to be sad as he said those words.
Those words about me.
"I care about you in a way I never thought I could again.."
My heart quickened.
"Hey, Wilbur, please wait-"
He turned around.
And his eyes were soft.
His smile was soft.
He looked so soft as he looked at me.
I began to shake my head slowly.
"Belle."
I began to tear up. "Please don't..."
"You're the only other thing I'm sure of in this whole world." His tears fell fast, but his expression remained the same.
Meanwhile my face contorted as my gut continued to tighten.
"Don't.." I whispered.
"I love you."
My arms were shaking. My breath quickened and I blinked as fast as I could, tears pooling down my face.
He just waited.
Stood there as I sobbed with the same soft expression.
Until I couldn't cry.
Until I could barely shake.
Until I looked back up and parted my lips. "I can't love you too.."
His shoulders fell.
"You're not you right now- you said it yourself. You're falling apart. You don't love me.."
He gasped. "No I do! I know what's happening to me and I do! I want you to be happy, I want to make you laugh and smile and keep you safe!"
I used my sleeve to wipe my eyes as he talked.
"Isn't that love??"
I shook my head as he tried to catch my eyes in his.
"I'm truly only capable of loving Anita at this point. I was lying when I said I didn't care about you because I really do.. but love?"
I looked him in the eye.
Shock, pain, fear.
"But- but I gave you mushrooms.. I listened to you with Morel.."
"You did." I smiled.
"Why don't you love me too?"
"I..." I searched for any words at all. Not a feeling flowed out, no thoughts blossomed. And I was left with something tragic.
"I don't know." I said, defeated.
His breath hitched.
And he choked on a sob.
But I stood still.
He fell forward onto my shoulder and I grabbed the back of his hair, holding him against me as he cried. It was the least I could do.
My other hand reached around and I rubbed his back.
He gripped the back of my shirt with both hands and his legs buckling brought us both to the ground.
And as if the gods were poets, rain began to trickle down over that moment.
Soon my other shoulder became wet as my clothes were soaked through, but I didn't let go of him. When the dirt turned to mud and my fingers went numb I just gripped his shirt instead and held him close as he cried.
He wept alongside the gods' poetry. The world mimicked him all around and the guilt wracked through my body like it hadn't since I escaped the butcher shop.
He deserved my love. He deserved much more than my love. He deserved himself back. If only there was enough of him left for me to love.
"I wish I could love you."
I said, muffled by his shoulder.
He pulled me closer.
"Me too."