To Ethan

I'm happy for him

Dear Grandma, dear Grandpa,

Ethan and I haven't talked very much since I sent you my last letter. That's not because it's weird between us. It's not weird anymore.

He has a girlfriend now. Her name is Mel and she's really pretty. She seems to be really nice as well. All I know is that they met online on the same platform where I met him again after two years. He said he's had a crush on her for a while now and their friendship turned into something more.

And you know, I'm happy for him.

He's much more social now, I mean he barely checks his phone anymore. That means we barely keep in touch. But it also means he's probably feeling much better now. More whole, possibly.

The thing is I thought... I thought that kiss meant something to him. But I guess he truly meant it when he said we should just forget about it, that it had just been a sudden thing in an awkward situation.

Why would he want to be more than friends with someone as broken as me, anyway?

Oh, and screw what I said about Mel just now. I don't think she's pretty at all and I don't think that she's nice. I might be able to lie to myself but not to you. So. Here it goes: I dislike Mel very much.

And I kind of sound like a mad person but the thing is I'm a mad person right now and that's because I'm happy and not happy at the same time and I'm not sure what to do.

In love,

Aubrey