collided and corrupted -- Dream SMP x Hermitcraft

Chapter 11

Xisuma opened the door to Wilbur's bedroom. They had brought False back to Phil's house to heal, since Hermitcraft was so far away. She was awake now, and healing up fine due to the numerous healing and regeneration potions they gave her. The admin smiled at False now that she was awake, sitting up in bed.

"Hey X!" She said cheerfully, despite the circumstances.

"Hey there, False!" Xisuma sat down on the bed, giving her another hearing potion, "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged, "Pretty alright, given that I've just been stabbed." They both chuckled, after a period of brief silence, she asked, "Hey X? I know that everyone's asked you this about a billion times, but I really need to know: What was it like, asleep all that time? You know Dream from that -- I'm not dumb. You woke up speaking of Dream and Wilbur and L'Manberg." Her blue eyes scanned his face.

Xisuma inhaled a shaky breath. He originally did not want to disclose the specifics of his slumber, but now he felt like he had to. False now had bad experiences with Dream as well. She would be the only person he'd disclose this information to. Not even Keralis, his closest and longest friend in the Hermitcraft community, knew what he'd experienced.

"It was...He called it the void."

"He? You mean Dream?"

"Yes. I don't know how he was there, but he was. Dream explained that it was the void of my mind. That's what it seemed like. Every now and then, he'd pop in and let me see his world, his SMP." False cocked her eyebrow, "Again, I don't know how. He mentioned someone called Drista but I don't know who she is. I never saw her during my little trips to Dream SMP. Its like I was in spectator mode, able to view what was going on but not interact. I saw Wilbur, this man who didn't seem fully human, wanting to blow up a country called L'Manberg, I saw Schlatt, this ram hybrid who smelled a lot like alcohol, die -- there seemed to be a permadeath system on the server. It was...interesting. And sad. There were kids, False...Two kids, maybe around 16 or 17 years old. One had a really bad burn scar across his face -- Tubbo, his name was Tubbo."

Xisuma sighed, shaking his head. "I'm so scared for Grian. That place is hell. Pure hell. Grian's chaotic but he's so nice...so so nice...I don't want to see what Dream will do with that niceness. I'm scared of Dream, False. Actually scared of him. The things he said to me..the things he said about his server... It's horrifying."

"Xisuma..." False whispered. Her fingers wiped away a few of the tears that poured down his face, "I'm so sorry...That sounds horrible."

"It was. It really was. I was alone most of the time, actually. Just... thinking. About everything. I've thought about everything I've done -- there's not much else to do when you're alone in your own mind -- and I'm scared. Why do you think I removed my helmet today? Because I don't want to be like him. Am I like him? I - I don't know anymore...Am I a good person, False? Am I good?" Xisuma asked desperately, tears flowing like a stream from his eyes. His head throbbed and his heart pounded. Throughout his entire 'exile' in his head, Xisuma analyzed everything about him: every past memory, every past interaction, every action he's ever done and is doing. Nothing escaped the admin's thorough look over. False sat up and, with a slight wince of pain, embraced him in a hug.

Xisuma broke down.

He let her hug him as he cried. False waited until he calmed down to say: "Xisuma, stop that talk right now. You're nothing like Dream. Dream's.. well, Dream. You know what he's like and I do as well, but definitely not like you do. You're Xisumavoid: A kind, loving man who just wants to build and have fun. You care about everyone who you come across. We all didn't know what to do without you! That's because we love you, Xisuma, you and everything you do. It's human nature to overthink our actions and our words, and oftentimes we read too far into subtext. We often see stuff that isn't there. You're good, Xisuma. You're one of the best people I know. Xisuma, if you're uncomfortable with your face showing then please put your helmet back on. I only want to see your face if you're doing it out of your own free will. Are you okay with your face being shown?" Her voice was soft, much softer than he ever heard.

"Thank you, False. Thank you. I... I really needed that today. Seeing Dream again, it stirs up some bad memories. And I am fine with my face being shown. To everyone. There shouldn't be any more secrets between me and the Hermits, however I don't really want to talk about this Dream subject with anyone else. Simply because I don't want to break down everytime I start talking..." Xisuma wiped the tears off his face, and False smiled at him.

"Of course, X. And just so you know: You're not alone. Even though we faced different things at Dream's hands and I'll probably never understand what you went through, just know that I am here for you, forever and always."

Xisuma smiled a watery smile, trying desperately to dry his eyes. "For you the world, False."

"Likewise, X-Eye-Suma." False grinned. 

A/N: So I've got some time to write more chapters of this so I'm posting this chapter now, and will be writing more! Hope y'all enjoy <3