Broken Glass | D.M.

six

I go to the library during dinner. I can't be around Draco during meals anymore because of what he said earlier today. Plus, I could use this extra time to study.

The library is almost completely empty. I guess it's because everyone is at dinner now. I kind of like the quiet, it's relaxing and gives me time to think. I settle in and begin my work.

About 10 mins later, I hear footsteps walking towards me.

"Hey Bee. I notice you weren't in the dinning hall so I brought you some food," says Draco in a surprisingly sweet and kind tone.

"How did you know I was here?" I respond.

"I have my ways."
I give him a face that says seriously?

"You're a Ravenclaw, where else would you be? And plus, I know whenever you skip meals you come here. My guess is to avoid the temptation of food since you can't eat in the library. But I brought you some steak and rice anyway, screw the rules."

Fuck. Why is he doing this? I'm in the middle of a 5 day fast and he's ruining all of my hard work.

"I'm vegetarian," I say quickly.
"No you're not."
"Yes I am."
"Since when?"
"Yesterday."
"Eat the rice then, I'll eat the steak," Draco says as he moves my textbook and places the plate in front of me. He begins to cut up the steak.

"I'm not hungry," I tell him.
"Bullshit. Yes you are. I haven't seen you eat in 3 days," he responds.

He's right, I'm starving. Literally. But I shouldn't eat, I can't eat.

"I can't," I say. There's no reason to hide my eating disorder, he already knows.
"Why not?"
"I just can't, okay?" I snap at him. He takes a deep breath.
"Bee, I know it's hard for you. I know that every bone in your body is telling you not to, that you can't. But please, just try. You don't have to finish it, just try and have a few bites," he says in a sweet tone.

Why is he being so nice to me? And how does he know this much about eating disorders? He's saying exactly the right things that you're supposed to say to someone who's struggling with eating.

"How do you know all of this?" I ask him.
"All of what?"
"You know... about... you know what I mean."
"What, eating disorders?" He asks, clearly knowing what I'm referring to.
"Yeah," I say. He takes a deep breath and sighs.
"My mother."
"Oh, I'm sorry," I say feeling really awkward.

I decide to take a bite of the rice thinking it will help with the awkwardness. Draco eats a piece of steak and smiles at me.

I can feel the rice turning straight into fat that'll probably go to my legs. Or maybe my stomach or arms.

You're so fat, Thisbe. What were you thinking, eating before your fast is over? You've probably gained 3 pounds from that bite. Starting now, you're going on a 7 day fast. And you have to run at least 3 miles every day, preferably 5. God, you're so disgusting and hideous. No wonder no one likes you, no wonder you don't have any friends.

"Bee?" I hear Draco say, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, what? Sorry," I respond. Tears are forming in my eyes.
"It's okay, you're okay," Draco tells me as he wipes a tear away from my cheek.

God, this is so embarrassing. It's bad enough that I'm fat and that I'm eating. But crying in front of Draco? That's even worse. I know how dumb it looks to cry over a little bit of rice, but I can't stop

"Hey, look at me," he says. I look at him. "I know you don't believe me, but it's okay, Bee. Everything is going to be okay, just breath."

Draco being so nice to me makes me cry even harder. He comes closer to me and embraces me in a hug.

"How about we get out of here, go somewhere a bit more relaxing," he says.
"Like where?" I respond.
"Anywhere but here. We can go to the Slytherin common room, or take a walk by the lake. Some fresh air will be good for you."

I nod my head. "Okay, let me gather my stuff," I tell him. Draco hands me my textbook while I pack up my parchment and quill.

We exit the library and leave the castle, walking in the direction of the lake. It's cold out, and I begin to shiver.

"Are you cold?" Draco asks me. "We can go back inside if you want."
"No, you were right. The fresh air feels good," I tell him. "Are you cold?"
"I'm fine, it's not really that cold. Here, have my jumper."
"I'm okay, really," I tell him. He grabs my hand, and I immediately get butterflies in my stomach.
"You're hands are freezing," Draco says as he pulls off his green jumper, embroidered with his initials in white on the left chest, and hands it to me.
"They're always like this. I guess I just have poor circulation," I respond.
"I wonder why," he says sarcastically. I try to laugh it off as I put on his jumper. It smells like him, which gives me a sense of comfort. I begin to feel warmer almost instantly.
"I placed a warming charm on it " Draco says. "Keep the jumper, that way you can always be warm, and also have me with you whenever you're struggling." I smile at him.

And that's when I see it; the blood seeping through his white button down shirt. I grab his arm.
"Draco..." I say as I pull up his sleeve and reveal fresh cuts. He immediately pulls his arm back and looks away from me.
"It's nothing," he mutters.
"It doesn't look like that," I tell him.
"I'm fine, Thisbe."
"Let me heal you."
"No, seriously, I'm okay."
"Draco, these cuts are really deep. They're going to keep bleeding if you don't do anything about them. And you have a higher risk of infection."
"So? Let them keep bleeding. They'll stop eventually."
"Draco, no. You can't do that to yourself. You're probably going to pass out from blood loss before they stop bleeding. They need to be healed. Let me heal you," I beg him in a concerned voice.
"Well, you'll probably pass out sooner than me from starving yourself. So don't lecture me on what I need to do when you can't even take care of yourself," he huffs in a defensive tone.
"That's not the point! Stop changing the subject and let me heal you," I yell back at him.
"Fine, but only if you promise me that you'll eat when we go back inside. And you have to eat with me and stay under my observation for at least an hour so I know that you've actually digested your food."
"Ugh. Okay. Fine. Just give me your arm," I tell him.

He stretched his arm out towards me. I roll up his sleeve carefully and he winces.

"Episkey," I mutter while pointing my wand at his arm. The cuts immediately begin to close up. Draco pulls his arm back and rolls down his sleeve.

The sun is beginning to set and we decide to head back inside. We don't have classes tomorrow, so Draco and I decide to spend more time together; we go to the Slytherin common room.