I Want You

Twenty-Three*

CW: choking, degrading, aggression

Philip's POV

The amount of rage boiling in my stomach and throat is overwhelming. I already warned her about Josh and she goes and kisses him, right where she knows I can see? He's a fucking player. She knows that, I told her. So why does she think kissing him is a good idea. All Josh wants is a good fuck. Once he gets that he won't even look her way again.

But I don't know how he would be able to ignore her. The amount of times I've almost gone over to her house in the past 2 days alone would make anyone go crazy. Ignoring her has not been easy. I don't even remember why I kicked her out.

She's just trying to get a rise out of me... well it won't work.

Fuck, yes it will.

She's not even mine, what am I so upset over? What is the matter with me. Jasper can do whatever the hell she wants. I shouldn't want to control her when we haven't even spoken in 2 weeks.

I decide that stewing in my anger won't be of any help and pull on some clothes to go running in. The winter weather is coming in so I have to dress accordingly.

Adorning my body with black sweats, dark grey tank top and a similar black fleece lined hoodie, I pull on my shoes and make my way out of my house. As I leave I have to fight the urge to try and look over to her house. I know I probably won't be able to see her -she hasn't opened her curtains once since she's closed them- the instinct to check is almost too compelling.

Using the last of my mental strength, I pull myself away from my front door, not looking towards hers and take off down the street.

My feet carry me away from my house and as I run I try to imagine my problems and mental issues slipping away. However, my efforts are in vain.

Since moving, I've kept a strong will, never breaking under pressure or letting anyone get under my skin. I built my walls to protect myself. Tried to keep a low profile around school.

Unfortunately, one thing I ended up forgetting was the fact that too many people find silence mysterious. And mystery is intriguing. Quickly, I became what I suppose is "popular," not because I hung out with many people or choose to make many friends. However, most people knew my name and the general idea of who I was -at least who I showed them- and I began to have admirers. Those who wanted to get to know be better and figure out the way my brain works.

All I found in this was annoyance. I never bothered anyone and all I asked for in return was for no one to bother me. But no. I became some type of popular loner. Some type of trophy that whoever can figure me out first would get to claim.

That was until Jasper came along.

I fell for her almost immediately. The way her bright hair went down her back in perfect waves. How her lips curved, and her soft eyes scanned an unfamiliar room. It was clear on her face that she didn't trust anyone easily. The thought of being able to break down her walls and find a way into her mind and heart made me understand why so many people were after me.

Her body was a blessing. Her thighs, her hips, her hands, legs, stomach, breasts, butt. God she was the definition of perfect. What drew me in the most though, wasn't anything physical. It was the way she smelled. I can't explain it at all but I found comfort in it, like an aura of calm washed around me and pulled me into the most peaceful world.