Borders & Rules

Chapter 3

After meeting Kevin I thought it really wasn't that bad here. And even if I missed home, I had a pretty good distraction. I had only spent half a day and a night with him, but there was just something about him attracting my interest and I thought I could last a few weeks here if it was with him.

Until I had to go to my first examination. I had no idea what was in store for me, but I went in with certainty. I wasn't afraid. I felt safe until I heard the words „blood draw."

Don't ask me why I had to have a damn blood draw when I had other problems. Probably just to check. But I've never had blood drawn before. And I couldn't stand the sight of blood. Hell, I couldn't even stand the thought of it. Back then I almost passed out at school when my friend only scraped his knee playing football. And let's not even start about my skateboard accidents.

So I stood there in the elevator with the nurse, trying not to think about the blood. Red blood. Blood from my body. Damn, just hearing the word blood in my head made the bile rise in my throat.

„He looks kinda pale." I raised my head. The man in the coat looked familiar to me.

„That's just the doctor speaking in you," the nurse said. Damn. I really should stop listening or I'll be throwing up right here in the elevator. That wouldn't be so nice. „Done for the day?"

„More or less."

„Would it be inconsiderate of me to ask if you can take him to the blood draw?"

„How considerate of you to ask," the man said. „Unfortunately I'm in a hurry." It sounded like he was more happy than unfortunate. I mean, thanks I guess? I would have taken it personally if I had been able to take things personally. The dots on the elevator's plastic floor blurred in front of me.

„Me too," the nurse said. „Don't you have to go this route anyway?"

„Fine." He adjusted his collar and wrapped a scarf around his neck. For which he lifted his chin. And that made him look even more judgmental when he looked at me. That's also when I finally realized who he was. That it was this supposedly brilliant doctor who had suggested this place to my mother. The reason I was here. Amazing.

I really didn't think good of him right now. Maybe he was good at what he did for a living, but I didn't like the way he looked down on other people at all. That arrogance in his eyes really made a person question their very existence. And I wasn't in good shape right now anyway.

But we don't want to judge people before we know them, right? I automatically followed him as my feet got tingly and my hands sweaty, coming closer to the blood draw. No joke, that man really ran so unperturbed and fast that I wasn't sure if he hadn't forgotten me. And if I unconsciously followed him into the end of his work day. He didn't turn around once. And that intimidated me. A lot.

Eventually we entered a treatment room. A nurse asked me to sit down. They talked. I didn't listen. I realized how close we were getting to it and everything blurred in front of my eyes.

„Could you sit down please," the nurse repeated. I sat down. Not like I had a choice. When I closed my eyes I blacked out for a moment. I was really gone, briefly, pretty sure my head swayed back and forth. And then the nausea washed over me and pulled the plug.

„Hey, hey!"

First thing I felt was the cold sweat on my forehead. I was right back, but my head was still spinning. And somehow I didn't understand where up and down was.

„Did he eat?"

„How do I know?! I'm not responsible for him!"

„Lay him down. Careful. His head."

„I got him."

Okay. I lay on the lounger. Of course that made sense. Loungers are there to lie on.

„You'd better do the blood draw now that he's gone." My head jumped up with such force that I nearly fell off the lounger. Forget it, I'm back, don't touch my wrist. „Easy." I got very warm when he held me. „Easy, boy. Here." He lay his hand in mine. „Hold my hand."

Damn it, the man was really calm. He wasn't upset or annoyed at all. He was sitting there, half-waisted, on the corner of my lounger, not even bothering to hold me anymore. He was calm personified. And that was really contagious.

I took his hand. I mean, I was just a scared kid, guys. I didn't know the man, but he knew my mother. I didn't want him to go anymore. And his grip was really strong. And I don't mean it hurt. His grip was save and strong.

Then everything happened really fast. I sobbed when I felt a cold splash and rough paper rubbing on the sensitive skin on my wrist. „I don't want this, please, do I have to do this??"

„Sweetheart," the nurse exhaled. „It's just a prick." It's freaking blood, I thought. I know, I made a huge deal out of this, but you know how it is with irrational fears. You never realize that it's irrational at the moment, you only notice it afterwards. „Just look at the doctor, okay?"

He snorted. Which made me look at him. Why the hell did he just snort? I didn't even think this man was able to laugh. „I don't think that'll do something," he said. „He's afraid of me. Said his mother."

„I'm... not." I winced when I felt the tip of a needle.

„School's pretty easy here, isn't it?" I looked at the doctor. Back to the nurse. „Don't look at her. I asked you something."

„Mh..."

„What's your favorite subject?" His voice was absurdly calm. „Do you like English? Or are you more of a math person?"

„English."

„Are you good in English?"

„No."

He chuckled. I didn't understand why. But it made me forget someone just touched my arm. „What are you good at?"

„I... I like philosophy and ethic classes."

„You have these at your school?" I nodded. „Wow. Cool." I felt the prick and twitched, but calmed again when he squeezed my hand so tight it almost hurt more than the prick. Jesus, his hand was much stronger than mine.

I squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered. She was just drawing the blood right now. That thought made me sick.

Then I felt pressure on my wrist. „Done," the nurse said and I turned my head. Big mistake. When I saw the tube filled with dark liquid, realizing it was my blood I looked away in shock. I haven't known blood could be so dark.

I was ashamed for reaching out again after he let go. He had already turned around to the door. That was when I realized he probably just wanted to go home. He stood there, in his coat and scarf, ready to go. And he had stopped. For me. The boy who hadn't even greeted him last time.