Lena Martins

Prologue

LENA'S POV

"I've missed you so much, baby " I smile but the smile evaporates when I notice the lack of enthusiasm.

Maybe I was wrong but there was contempt on his face, his eyes were cold and emotionless, his back was straight with his arms crossed and every now and then I could see his jaw tick.

"Lena."

"Hunter is everything alright? You look..."

"Drop the fucking act, would you?" he scoffs

"Oh my God, did you wake up with a stick up your ass or something? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? No, what's wrong with you!? Aren't you ashamed of yourself for lying to my face and acting like nothing's wrong? Like you're some sweet  fucking angel?"

"What are you talking about? "I frowned, pretty much lost. Did I lose a chapter ?

"You can fool anyone you want with your innocent act but not me. I know  what really happened with you and my aunt Catalina."

Huh?
What the fuck is he talking about?

"What are you on about?"

"I know you killed her"

This is a joke.
A bad joke even.
I might  forgive him, he always sucked at making jokes.

I laugh, slapping my knee multiple time but when I see his serious expression it's my turn to scoff

"Do you hear yourself when you speak? I didn't even know her before you told me about her! Your accusations are absurd, why would I kill her? I am barely able to kill a cockroach correctly without jumping, let's not talk about when they start to fly towards me besides, even if I wanted to I had no reason to kill  her  You're out of your goddamn mind. "

"Fuck, why don't you just tell me the truth for once ? "he raised his voice and the guards approached, but I smiled at them, indicating that everything was fine

"Because there is no truth to tell . I don't know who put this idea in your head but it's not true"

"Cristina told me the truth, she told me everything she saw in great detail, how you cold heartedly murdered her mom . "

"Hunter, don't tell me you're stupid enough to believe the lies of that fucking bitch? You heard what was said at the trial. What she said was inconsistent with the autopsy. "

"Of course I believe her over you, she's fucking family, she wouldn't lie about something like that"

Oh.

Oh.

Wow.

"Look at me, Hunter" I demand and when he doesn't I repeat myself "look at me in the eyes and tell me to my fucking face that you really believe what you're accusing me of"

Silence

Fucking silence

Is he shitting me right now?

"Hunter?"

"Fuck, Lena, I don't know anymore. Maybe you're not the person I thought you were , you've kept so much from me how do you expect me not to doubt?! Yes I prefer to believe in Cristina, she is family and family always comes first."

" Are you saying  I am not family?" I whisper

" No and you'll never be. How could you ? Every time wake up, I keep thinking that the woman I want to make a life with is a murderer, a heartless bitch that I can't trust. I fell in love with the worst possible person and I regret it more than everything else ."

I can't believe it, I can't believe him.

I bite the inside of my cheek, holding back my tears at the hurtful words he was saying to me, I won't let myself cry in front of him, I won't let him see my tears, he doesn't deserve them.

"Is that all?"

"When you get out of here, don't look for me because you won't exist in my eyes anymore, because you'll be dead to me. You and I are fucking done  and I sure hope this is the last time we'll see each other, Martins" he snarls

"You're making the biggest mistake of your life Hunter and when you'll realize , regret is going to eat you alive, when you'll realize don't you dare come back to me because you'll have lost me by then. You won't find me how you left me, my heart is big but not big enough to deal with people who won't ever choose me first, people who will believe anyone else before me, people who will hurt me over and over again . Whether you like it or not, we'll meet again  and you'll look at me the same way I looked at you but I won't feel anything for you anymore, I'll walk past you, indifferent, with a smile on my face while you'll die inside because it took you too long to realize that you fucked up and I can't wait for that day to come."

His eyes flash with something but I don't bother trying to decipher the emotion.

Without another word, I stand up, nodding to the guard and he walks me back to my cell

°°°°°

“I fell in love with the worst possible person and I regret it more than anything else”

All of a sudden I felt pressure on my chest, my breathing shortened, sweat ran down my forehead and my eyes watered.

I close my eyes shut as I choke on my sobs. The blackness and numbness takes over my being.

The walls close in around me, I can't breathe, like all the oxygen is gone.

I am not good enough.

Not good enough to be loved.

Not good enough to be chosen.

Not good enough to be first.

I hear someone approach  and I feel  hands grabbing  hold of me, soon enough I was cradled against the body.

I clawed at my throat feeling like I was going to suffocate.

My lungs were failing me.

My own body was fucking failing me.

I wanted to speak, I wanted to scream, I really wanted to do something but I couldn't.