Not All Happy Endings

10: Hard Conversations

POV: Mason

Once we got home, we both went to our separate rooms and changed out of our wet clothes. 

I sat on my bed, thinking about the events of the day. I kissed Hazel. I saw what used to be my guy best friend. It was a roller coaster of emotions. 

I can't believe I kissed my best friend. I also couldn't believe she kissed me back. 

Was it possible she felt the same way? I had to admit, she was a really good kisser, but that might just be the fact that I'd been waiting to do that for so long. And she looked amazing wearing my hoodie that was too big on her. But maybe it should't be like this? I mean  we've been best friends for forever. I don't want our teenage hormones to get in the way of that. So as much as I hate it, I have to control myself, and just say friends.

We didn't speak on the car ride home from the diner. I could tell there were some unspoken things we both wanted to say, but didn't know how. 

Once we were home I laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I didn't realize how emotionally drained I was until I started to doze off.

I woke up to the sound of knocking at my door. The sky was an array of orange and pink, letting me know the sun was setting. 

"Mason?" she said, obviously not sure about being in my presence. "Come in" I said, sleepily. "Did I wake you up?" she asked, awkwardly. 

"Yea, but I needed to get up anyways" I said, shrugging it off. "Ok, well, um...can I- can we talk...outside?" She stuttered, pointing at the door. "Uhh, sure I guess. Everything ok?" I asked, starting to get a little concerned. "Oh, um I think so, I just have make sure we are on the same page" she said, avoiding my eyes. 

I didn't know what she meant about being 'on the same page' but whatever it was, it probably wasn't going to be good. 

We walked outside, keeping an awkward distance away from each other. We continued to walk down the sidewalk, silence just hanging between us. I didn't want this to take any longer than it needed to so I started off by saying "Soo, what did you need to talk about?" she looked visibly uncomfortable, and like she was at war with herself on the inside. 

This really couldn't be good then. "The past few days have been a bit strange. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed all the time we've spent together and I'm glad you're staying with me..." She trailed off. "But...?" I said, sensing that one was coming. "I don't know. She paused. I could tell she couldn't find the right words to say so I decided to help her out a bit. "I think I know what you're trying to say" I said. "You do?" She said, looking a bit hurt and scared at the same time. "I know you don't like me back so when we kissed you didn't want to hurt my feelings so you just went along with it." She stood there, her expression unreadable. 

Taking her silence as a cue to continue I said "It's Ok Haze, I understand. You don't want to ruin the friendship we have. So don't worry about it okay? It's all good" I said, my tone sounding only half sincere. She didn't seem to pick up on it.

I saw a flash of hurt in her eyes but I didn't fully understand why. All she said was "Oh yea, you're right that's better for us anyways." She kept her head down as she walked past me back to the house. 

It almost felt as if neither of us wanted this to happen.

I felt heat rising up on my cheeks, and tears welling up in my eyes, but I fought them back in and told myself that this is what's best and I need to get over it. 

I should never have gotten feelings for her. And even if I did, I should've kept ignoring them like I had for so long. It would have spared me this pain, this humiliation, this undeniable sense that nothing was going to be the same between us. 

This hurt more than a beating from my father ever did. 

I would just have to deal with the consequences of my actions like a man, and get over it. If this is how she wanted it to be, then that's how it would be.

 As soon as we came through the door, Momma called us from the kitchen. "Dinners ready!" Oh great, now this is gonna be hell.

After dinner, which I was right about being hell, I went to my room. I found a pair of my sweats and pulled them on, tugging my shirt off afterwards. 

I looked over at the table beside my bed and saw a picture of me and my mother. "Why did I have to go and fall in love with the only stable thing in my life, just to get it ripped away from me?" I sighed, when there was no answer. 

Of course there wasn't going to be one, it was a picture and my mom was never coming back anyways. My eyes slowly drifted over to the picture of me and Hazel. 

It was from her first day of 9th grade. She had her blonde hair in two braids, and the biggest smile plastered on her face. The metal from her braces glinted in the sunlight, and her eyes were squinted, making it hard to see those gorgeous eyes. 

It was still my favorite picture of us together, besides the one that Taylen had sent me of us hugging when she got back from the hospital. 

God that felt like an eternity ago.

I sat on the edge of my bed, and leaned back. I held my phone above my head, seeing I had a few messages.

Jackson: Hey bro, can we talk?

Jackson: I know we aren't on the best of terms right now, but I really need to tell you something.

Jackson: Please Mason, just hear me out

I rolled my eyes. I really didn't want to add him to the list of how shitty my day was but what did I have to lose?

Me: Fine.

I dropped my phone on my face when there was a knock on the door that startled me. It was Hazel. "Oh, sorry I didn't mean to make you drop your phone, '' she said giggling. God her laugh was so cute. "I brought your hoodie back. I put it in the dryer so it wouldn't be wet anymore." she said. I was slightly disappointed when she gave it back. It looked ten times better on her anyways.

She gave me a weird look, seeing as I had not responded yet. "Oh, uh, ok just put it over there. Thanks." I said, sitting back up on the bed and picking up my phone. 

She paused before walking out like she was going to say something but decided against it. I turned back to find a message from Jackson.

Jackson: Listen, I'm really sorry for what I said the other day about Hazel. I was planning to tell you at the Diner, but you left before I had the chance. I really hope you can forgive me. See you at school tomorrow.

Me: I'll have to think about it, but thank you for apologizing. See you tomorrow.

I had completely forgotten about us having school tomorrow. I quickly sent Hazel a reminder text, and she sent a thumbs up in response.

I was not excited about this.

Hello my lovely readers! sorry i haven't updated in a while, I've been really with the Holidays coming up. i know this is kind of a short chapter, but ill try to make them at least 2000 words from now on!

Edited Feb 9th 2023