Broken ~ A Matthew Espinosa Fanfic

Chapter 17

*MATTS POV*

Way too easy. Its almost as if... No this pain is real. It can't be fake. I burst out the door and see the paramedics rush past me and into the hospital.

Did they not notice a boy in his hospital gown crying his eyes out.

No more pain.
No more suffering.
Lily.

I sprint across the street and see police lined up right next to a ledge, keeping people away.

That's where she jumped.

The booming. The thudding sound of my bare feet hitting the grass at a constant rate in an attempt to get closer to the line slowly faded as I began to stop. I have this idea that maybe, just maybe, the closer i get to where she died the closer I will feel to her.

I spot a small opening in the police line, just big enough to let me squeeze through. A sliver of hope in a world full of order.

When the police officers looked the slightest bit distracted I took my chance and jumped through the opening. I could've sworn I was pushed against one end of the line but no one took notice.

Its like the universe wants me to die.
Forcing me to die.

Then this burning pain would stop. This feeling of cold fire in my chest. A feeling where its almost as if everything inside me is collapsing in on itself. Crushing my chest from the inside out.

What is someone supposed to do, when their very existence is pointless.

I mean.
Why survive if there is nothing to thrive for.
What is love without something to love.

I made my way to the edge of the cliff. No one shouted for me. No one rushed to help me. I am and I was and I always will be invisible. I'm not special. But I am different. Different-but not in a good way. The way everyone perceives as a freak or as abnormal or as the other that no one would give a second glance looking at. I'm not popular. I have no friends. I'm not anything. I'm just plain. I'm simple.

Invisible.

I look down the sheer drop. White-crested waves slap against the jagged rocks repeatedly.

I can see her. She's standing at the bottom. Her back facing me. Her hair an object taken by the wind as it flutters behind her.

She's waiting for me.

Alright, Matt. You can do this, all you have to do is-

"MATT!" I hear someone scream a shrill scream that could be heard for miles. I turn abruptly and realize that its her, its Lilly. But she's dead. She has to be dead. I look down over my shoulder at the rocks and see that the girl I saw is still there.

"Matt, you can't jump. You have so much ahead of you." The girl in front of me says in an attempt to calm me down.

"NO! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HAVE TO BE DEAD!" I shout at her, tears streaming from my face.

"Shhh Matt it's okay. It's okay Matt I'm right here with you." She smiles and all I can do is shake my head repeatedly. This is just the meds. Its not real. She's not real. She takes a step towards me, and I shuffle back and realize I am still on the edge of the cliff.

I turn around, shaking my head at her words, trying to convince myself this isn't real. This can't be real. I look down once more. Good. She's still there-waiting.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. A calm breath. A last breath. And I let myself fall.

But something isn't right. I open my eyes and I see the girl at the bottom has turned. She's staring at me with wide eyes as her mouth forms into a twisted form and a chorus of screams escape.

All saying one thing.
"Matt"
Repeatedly.
Screaming.

As I continue to fall, I realize that I have been falling for a while. Too long. Way, too long. I never hit the rocks. I wonder what would happen if I hit them soon. What sound would my head make. I just want to die. I nee-

Crack.

•

OMG GUYS I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER!! I WAS GOING THROUGH A LOT BUT I'M GONNA BE UPDATING MORE DONT WORRY!

Also sorry this is a really short chapter... A longer one coming soon¿

So what do you guys think so far eh? Is Matt really dead? I guess you'll need to find out.

Comment your thoughts bbs⛄️

-J