Serpentine ; Fred Weasley

Seventy-nine

I could hear them talking about me.

They were right outside the door to the bedroom, thinking I was asleep, but I hadn't actually closed an eye all night.

I just pretended to be asleep so that they wouldn't talk to me.

I was curled up underneath the duvet, trying to think about anything but the news I had been told just yesterday.

Though I couldn't think about anything else.

All my memories with my oldest brother flashed through my mind and I felt my heart break and ache at each and every one of them.

When I was little, he always took care of us, especially whenever mum and dad would fight.

Then I showed up on his door last year and I was so happy to have him back in my life.

But now I had lost him.

Just a couple of days ago, he had been here. He was smiling and he looked happy. He was helping me out and the second he no longer had to take care of me, he ended up dead.

He didn't fucking kill himself.

I opened my eyes and looked into the room for a moment but as I teared up, I squeezed them shut and clutched my hair, pulling at it to focus on something else than the amount of emotional pain.

"Hey, hey... stop that." I didn't even notice Fred in the room but he made me let go of my hair and brushed it out of my face and as I looked at him, I saw him look at me with eyes full of worry. "...Kai..."

I turned onto my other side, facing away from him and I felt Fred get onto the bed, moving closer to me.

"Lovely..."

"Leave me alone." I whispered, closing my eyes as I clutched the pillow where my head laid.

"No. I'm not leaving you alone, Kai."

I didn't answer. I pulled the duvet up to my chin and when I felt Fred's hand brush over the material, I moved away again.

"I'll make you some breakfast." He said. "Waffles or pancakes?"

"Neither."

"You'll have to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

Fred sighed and didn't say anything for a moment. I felt him move on the bed and then I heard the floor creak as he walked across the room and through the door.

"How is she?" I heard George ask before the door closed, allowing me to only faintly hear their voices.

I wanted to scream at them to stop talking, especially because I knew exactly what they were talking about.

My brother had died and I was now a wreck.

I hadn't seen anyone since I found out. Not even my own family.

Half an hour later, Fred returned to the room with a tray full of food for me. He tried to get me to eat and it took him a while until he could get me to at least sit up and eat one of the berries he had washed and put in a bowl for me, next to the plate of waffles.

He sat on the bed with me, his eyes focused on me and after eating one single strawberry, I just looked down at the tray.

Kwan made waffles for me the morning after I showed up on his doorstep. He knew it was my favourite as a child, and it still was.

"I've never—" my voice sounded weak and Fred's eyes softened at the realisation that there was a chance I'd talk to him.

Instead, I closed my eyes and shook my head, running a hand up to my throat.