Never Knew | s.o

16.

All these crazy thoughts,
Can't get 'em out my head.
I keep wondering who you got in your bed.
You so real,
But how the fuck was I mislead?

TRINITY
Being pregnant and raising an infant and a toddler was no joke. Why did I do this to myself? I hate being a babymama. I hate being a babymama. I hate being a babymama. Why was you horny? Why was you horny? These were definitely my final two especially by Shareef. He's just a boy trying to be a man and I'm sick and tired. I'm not sure if it was the hormones or what, but I had really been crying about my situation lately. I didn't ask for this shit. I love my kids to death, but I did not expect to be doing this single mom shit. Like I deadass love this man and he just woke up and decided he wanna be a bachelor. That shit hurt me but that shit hurt even more for my kids. Ever since Shareef disclosed that he wasn't ready for this relationship and family we built, he hasn't even tried to see the kids. They don't deserve that shit. They're innocent in all of this.

I was honestly nauseous as hell, but I had children to take care of so I was going to have to push through. I slid out from in between Salem and Said and went to the bathroom. I was throwing up so hard that I was pissing on myself. Immediately after I was finished, I cleaned up the floor and hopped in the shower. I couldn't take the scalding shower I wanted to do it wasn't relieving stress like I needed to.

After I got out of the shower, I threw on my robe. I air dried for a little bit before putting on lotion. As I was getting dressed, Said woke up crying which caused Salem to wake up. I finished getting dressed and picked up Said. I changed him and put him on my boob. I sent Salem to go use the bathroom Im the midst of all this. When she came back, I snuggled with her while Said was eating.

I must've fallen asleep with them. When I woke up, I put Said in his bassinet and slid Salem over. I made sure to cover them both before leaving out of the room.

When I walked out into the common area, Kairi was just chilling watching tv.

"Good morning."

"Good morning. How you feeling?"

"I've been better. How are you?"

"Im good."

"You hungry?"

"I already ate."

"Oh okay."

I went in the kitchen and started pulling stuff out to make breakfast.

"When the kids wake up, I wanna go look at some houses. I can't keep doing this hotel living especially once the babies get here and if I get a house, I need time to get everything moved in and unpacked before I'm too pregnant to do so."

"Where are you thinking about getting a house?"

"Probably in another city or state. I need my space and I need my peace."

"I just can't believe shit got like this."

"Me either."

I began making breakfast, making sure to make enough so Salem could eat when she woke up. As I was pulling the bacon out of the oven, there was a knock on the door.

"Kairi, can you see who is at the door?"

KAIRI
I got up off of the sofa and went to see who was at the door. As soon as I opened the door, I regretted not looking through the peephole first. When Shaqir laid eyes on me, his facial expression turned into a look of disgust. He pushed past me and walked into the room.

"What is she doing here?"

"Uh uh. Don't come in here with that yelling shit. You wake my kids up, I'm gone beat your ass."