The Egg - DabiHawks [DISCONTINUED]

The Egg: P2.3 - Cool Dads :')

IM SORRY Y'ALL I POSTED THIS CHAPTER ON ANOHER STORY AND DIDNT NOTICE SOMEHOW BUT HERE IT IS

SOMEONE FUCK ME

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If he was honest, Dabi would rather Jin have come instead. It made him more comfortable to be in the presence of another villan, ironically, but yeah. That's how his mind worked.

"Where are the kids?" Rumi asked, as the front door closed behind them. Dabi crossed his arms after ending the 'ongoing' call and put his phone back in his pocket.

"I don't know. Why don't you go look for them if you're so eager?"

She didn't have to though, because Satori came running to her and accidently tripped over her own feet.

The girl tumbled across the floor, coming to a halt on her face at Rumi's feet.

"Whoopsie! Looks like someone's excited to see me!" Rumi said with a beaming smile as she picked Satori up from under her armpits. Satori threw out her arms and gave Rumi a big hug.

"Aww, that's sweet! What about the other one?"

As she spoke, Riku came crawling into the room.

"GAGGAGOOGEEEEEEEEE!" He shrieked.

"Yes, gagagoogee, my precious little baby."

Rumi gave him a hug too and Dabi couldn't help but smile - then he looked away, annoyed that he had become so SOFT.

The things having kids does to you, honestly...

"So...Touya, eh?" Rumi said, standing up again. Dabi frowned.

"I've told you not to call me that," he snapped. "Only Kei can call me by that name."

But Rumi wasn't listening.

"Cocaine,"

Hold up what the fuck-

"And drinking with your friends, you live in the dark boy I cannot pretend."

"Are you seriously-"

"I'm not fazed Only here to sin if Eve ain't I'd your garden you know that you can..."

"Mirko!"

"Call when when you want

call me when you need

call me in the morning

I'll be on my way."

"MIRKO!"

"Call me when you want

call me when you need

call me out by your name

I'll be on the way like-"

"Fuckin' STOP."

Rumi rolled her eyes. "Come on, sing along! It's a good song."

"I suppose..."

Rumi grabbed a messed up hairbrush and Dabi grabbed a spoon, and they both jumped onto the kitchen table, screeching out the song lyrics.

"I wanna sell what you're buying!"

"I want feel on yo ass in Hawaii," Dabi sang, smirking.

"I want that jet lag from fucking and flying-"

"Shoot a child in your mouth while I'm riding!"

The children watched in amazement a Dabi vigorously bobbed his head to the nonexistent music while Rumi threw it back.

Soon Riku began to join in and started doing little twerks with his fat baby ass.

"Yeah! That's my boy! Watch him go!" Dabs yelled. Rumi just cheered and clapped.

After a while Dabi began to get more hot than he already was (curse those good looks!), and he stepped off the table.

"Thank goodness Keigo isn't here to see us - he'd probably tell us off. I'd never hear the end of it," he laughed.

But then Rumi pointed.

"Hold up, isn't that a baby camera?" She asked. The bunny hero raised an eyebrow as the look on Dabi's face change from carefree to OOP- and then she wrinkled her nose when the smell of burnt plastic filled the air.

"Well that sorted that out. Wait, what if there's a drive? And it all uploads to the comp-"

"Shh, I don't want to think about that," Dabi said, shushing Mirko with his finger to her lips, which she BIT. (shush i know it's weird)

Dabi yanked his finger out of her mouth, giving her a disgusted look.

"Erm- I'm married, thank you very much," he said, wiping his hand on his shirt. "Go choke on carrots or something."

"No."

"Okay."

The two stared at each other for a few awkward seconds. The burnt chicken nugget, and the...rabbit soup??

I don't know.

FUCK-

So anyway, they all decided to go watch Hawks on TV because Dabi and Rumi, being such good babysitters, didn't know what to do with the kids.

"Wow, look at your Dad go! Isn't he an amazing hero!" Rumi exclaimed, way too enthusiastic. Like always.

"Yeah," Hato began to say. "He's-"

Thwack

The camera zoomed in on Hawks just as he took a punch to the face. The four of them stared at the television.

"Okay kids, let's do something else!" Rumi quickly steered them the opposite way.

"DADDY'S GONNA DIEEEEEEEE."

"No he isn't! Don't worry!"

"HE'S DYING!"

The fight in the city got a bit out of hand, so Rumi had to go out quickly to help them with it while Touya stayed at home with the children.

She stripped right there and then in the middle of the room.

"Jeez, go back to the night club if you're gonna do that," Touya said, as Rumi whipped her clothes off to reveal her hero costume underneath.

Later, when I'm not on duty," she replied to his comment. Dabi stared at her, not being able to tell if it was a joke or not, but decided not to question it.

Mirko soon left the house, leaping over buildings to get to where the fight was taking place.

So Dabi was alone again.

He kicked at the hero's clothes. "So I just leave these here...? Alrighty."

Then he had an idea.

"Come on kids, let's go watch your Dad get beat up by bad guys!"

The villan, being his villanous self, practically leapt onto the sofa while Hato, Satori, and Riku snuffled up to him. Riku mainly hid his face in Dabi's armpit at the 'scary' parts, but the man soon put a stop to that because he knew he hadn't washed and probably stank.

Sometimes he really did wonder why his kids loved him, and he was pretty sure they all loved Keigo more, since the bird man was less intimidating with his looks.

Oh well.

He was a villan, after all (well duh bitch) - he couldn't help looking the way he did. He was also pretty sure normal fathers didn't let their young children watch brutal fights on the telly.

Fuck being responsible. Ima cool Dad.

Yes, and we all like cool Dad's here.

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I KNOW ITS SHORT IM SORRY BUT YEA IM WORKING ON THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL ONE NOW OK

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

also i just discovered text to speech..wtf- lmao😂