Soul not Included

Chapter 51

I'm not sure how protagonists do it.

"Are you alright Isabella?" Edward asked wanting to brush my cheek but after the grabbing the pulling and protecting that he's done he wasn't sure if I'd continue to allow it. Especially now that it was just his family and I here. What is there to potentially protect me from?

"Of course i am," i say and it sounds confident. Sure. The slap was a good eye opener.

What time do I have for such melodrama...

"He shouldn't have hurt you," Edward continues to say. 

Alice was pulling me to sit down as Esme set the sandwiches urging me to eat something. I haven't eaten properly since then. I wasn't really hungry either. So i sit there for a while trying to find the humor in Edward's concern.

"If Augie was really trying to hurt me... he'd have egged my house, throw paint around my room, tear up my clothes... anything other than a slap... and a weak slap at that. He's a... very gentle person."

Protagonists always seemed to jump into their role without a problem and are able to make peace with their past. Whatever past they have, loving family, orphan, military, trauma, high school, adult, with or without love... somehow they all are capable to let go. To move on.

I don't understand.

"Sorry, Esme. I don't want to throw up tonight." I pushed the sandwiches away.

"You have to eat something, you've lost so much weight." She's worried and pushing it back, "just a little."

"I'll eat when I get home. Edward will make sure of it..."

Carlisle lifted Esme from her worried stance beside me. She did that often. More than I thought she'd ever done with Bella. I'm not exactly sure since i don't know anything outside of the books and movies... and those are just all in the perspective of Bella and all she focuses on is Edward. How am I to know how her relationship with anyone else is based on that? It's so unreliable... 

I'm equally unreliable. 

"Now is not the time," Carlisle said, "she needs rest and to eat." He emphasized it but I knew that already. I knew what i had to do and I'll do it. I will but I'm tired right now. So i gratefully accept Carlisle's chance to escape even though i know they're bursting with questions. "Edward, take her home."

"Of course," Edward took my hand. 

He let me sleep that night. He didn't linger long. Just until i fell asleep which was almost immediately.  I had no clear dream that night but i thought i heard voices talking around me. I listened closely but it was muffled. So i ignored it. I had no energy to worry about about dreams anyways.

I wake up at seven and get up to make breakfast. I was up so i can greet Charlie with a to go breakfast burrito. The corner of his mouth twitched up. Relief on his face. He took the brown paper bag and without thinking gave me an embrace. I hugged him back wishing he wouldn't leave today but i know he'd have to and I have much to think about.

"Come back home safe," i say and there's a look on his face, thoughtful and still concern.

"I'll be back." He walked out and I watched from the doorway as he left. There wasn't much time between Charlie vanishing from my view and Edward appearing from the other side to come and visit. He wasn't expecting me to be up already. We came back early in the morning. At most I got about five hours of sleep. 

I left the door open for him but didn't offer a greeting. I wish i was back in bed. I can't explain how hard it feels to move my body but i did it. I had to. If anything, i didn't want to waste my time with Charlie anymore.