Soul not Included

Chapter 90

The Clearwater's were in the house. Charlie cruiser was in the driveway, too. My heart was in my throat and without Jasper here, my anger was choking me.

"You know I had a friend who's mother thought that all a child needed was material items to make her happy... both parent and child was miserable since they both didn't have the mother figure or the child they wanted in life. All the money and items in the world couldn't buy her love and she resented her mother for her whole life," i muttered.

"I know you might resent us, right now," Carlisle said. "We should have asked you for your opinion but we know you would have said no. You have a habit of always choosing the worse options for yourself so we took it upon ourselves to choose for you."

Esme looked behind herself to look at me.

"You know we would love to keep you."

I slumped into my seat as Carlisle cut the engine off.

"Bella, doesn't need a babysitter," i said. "Just stick me with Jasper and everything will be fine."

"Jasper isn't medicine for you. It's rough on him to be around all the time and if you rely on him for everything then you won't learn to do anything for yourself. Find a focus, here. Find your purpose. Something you like to do. Indulge in your life and the things you want. Take your time. Away from anything you might feel responsible for."

I leaned my head back into the seat and sighed. "Just because I'm away from it doesn't mean that it's not going to bother me! The problem doesn't just go away!"

"We know," Carlisle said. "Which is why we would rather have everyone available to hurry and find your friends to lessen at least that one burden quickly." 

"What's you're estimated time to find them?" I asked. "I don't want to get too comfortable if you guys decide to come for me in just a year."

Carlisle and Esme looked at each other and said nothing. They could communicate with just a  gaze. I didn't miss a thing between them. I'm glad that age didn't get in the way of my observational skills. I could assume already what they were thinking. 

It would be longer than a year. Maybe not because they wouldn't be able to find them within the year but because they were going to force my time with Charlie. I had a promise to keep with Simon anyway. This body had to grow up to be an adult. What better way to spend my humanity than with other humans and being with the one human I had always wanted to be with.

"You're not coming back are you?" I asked.

Esme shook her head. "Of course, we are. Mari don't doubt for a second that we won't come back for you!"

"Do you know what abandonment feels like, Esme?" I asked her. "Logically i know why you all have decided to do this. It makes sense. It's reasonable... I understand. I think... I've been too understanding with all of you and now you all just expect it of me... do me a favor... Don't come for me until I'm ready. I'll give you a call. Or Alice will see it. You dump me here without letting me know, I at least want to be the one in control over when I get to go."

They nodded. "Of course," Carlisle said. "That's the least we owe you. Shall we go in?"

Carlisle and Esme walked me up the stairs. Seth tore open the front door before we got to them. His grin stretched from ear to ear. He ran down and hoisted me up into his arms before he greeted the Cullens.

He ran back in leaving the door open and we entered. Sue was sitting besides Charlie and Leah beside her. Leah's eyes shot to me immediately. The glare sent shivers down my spine. She will have a few words for me after this, probably. I just hope she gives me time to settle down into my room before she screams at me.