Rivals with Benefits

Chapter 36 - stupid

Louis' POV
"Louis! Harry's back!" Lottie shouts from downstairs.

I roll around and groan into my tear stained pillow, "Tell him to go away!" I yell back, "Please," I add to let her know that I'm quite literally begging her.

I can hear Lottie sigh loudly from downstairs before there's the sound of the door opening and closing. I bury my head into my pillow to avoid hearing any other noise like the sound of Harry's beautiful yet desperate voice.

Ever since that day at Liam's Harry comes by the house at least once a day just to try to get me to talk to him. But I just can't.

It's not that I'm mad because I really have no right to be, considering I'm doing the same thing he did to me, but I just can't see Harry. It'd be too hard. For now I'm just gonna be focusing on footie and a scholarship and my grades and no more Harry - even though most of my days are lost spent thinking about him and wishing things could be different - but still, footie, scholarship, grades.

I wait only a second more before getting up and running to my window. I look down to find Harry walking away with his shoulders slumped. I can only watch for a little bit before turning away and pulling at my hair.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't-

"Louis?" I hear Lottie ask from the other side of the door.

"Don't cry!" I shout before shaking my head with realization, "I mean, come in!" I correct.

Lottie opens my door by only a crack as if to see if I'm decent. She reluctantly comes in and makes herself comfortable on the bed. She gives me a quick once over to gauge how I'm doing before meeting my eyes.

"So," Lottie starts off slowly and she waits a bit just to think over what to say next, "The girls have been asking where Harry's been."

"Oh," is all I say as I lean back against the window sill.

"And I wondered the same thing for a little bit, you know," Lottie continues but more so to herself than to me, "But then after a week it was like magic and 'BAM' Harry's back."

I look up at her meeting her questioning eyes. I'm about to say something, in fact I really want to say something. Maybe to tell her to stop or just to explain everything before she can ask but all I can even imagine saying right now is "oh."

"And he comes here pretty much everyday asking about you and frankly looking like shit-"

"Lottie," I snap giving her a warning look because I don't want to hear anymore and also just because Harry never looks like shit.

"Come on Louis! He looks awful! He looks like he hasn't slept in days, he looks like he cries every single hour of the day, and he looks like a sad puppy that you just abandoned! Can you please just tell your family what happened?! And maybe then I can finally tell Harry something other than "Louis' locked in his room and doesn't want to see you,'" Lottie shouts dramatically.

"You've been telling him that?" I ask hoping that she's joking.

Lottie shrugs and I take that as confirmation, "Lottie!" I groan throwing my face into my hands.

"Well what else am I supposed to say? I don't know any better," Lottie replies defensively.

I sigh and run my hands through my hair, "I know, I know, I'm sorry," I clear my throat and meet Lottie's eyes, "It's just that I kind of have to choose between Harry and footie and you know footie is my future but I want Harry and it's all just so complicated," I ramble out to her.

Lottie blinks once before asking, "Why do you have to choose?"

"Because Lottie if I'm still with Harry I already know we'll lose the damn match and honestly maybe my team might kick me off before that even happens. But I need football, you know mum is struggling with money and the girls, and I can't put my future on her. It's up to me and a scholarship might be the only way I can actually go to uni," I explain wiping at the tears welling in my eyes.