Finally Free Again

9

Warnings:
-Mentions eating disorder behaviour
-Mentions (physical) abuse

George's POV

A few weeks after George's last chapter

I wasn't doing good at all since I had been bingeing and purging three times a day. I was breaking and passed out yesterday which caused me to worry about my own health. I really wanted to recover, but I kept bingeing and then I purged since I felt so guilty and miserable.

I really wanted to take the step to recover today and I told my dad that I wanted to tell him something. I skipped school for the fourth day because I was exhausted and I sighed softly as I went downstairs. My father looked up and laid his phone down.

'What's up, sweetheart? You told me you want to talk to me through text.'

I nodded slowly and sat down in front of him, wiping my sweaty hands off on my pants as I breathed out to stay calm.

'I'm uh- I'm very nervous.'

'Do you want me to hold you?' my dad asked as he stood up to sit next to me. 'You know I always love you, right? I love you no matter what.'

I breathed out as I nodded and let him hold him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head as I decided to just tell him quickly.

'Ever since I got beaten up, I haven't felt like myself. I got bullied with my weight for ages and it made me extremely insecure. I've been getting a lot of flashbacks and nightmares about the time they beat me up and every time I get a nightmare, I start eating.'

My dad pulled me even closer and made me feel calm.

'I started bingeing and this starts pretty innocently, but I binge so badly that I eat up to six thousand calories. I'm really ashamed now, if I'm honest,' I mumbled, looking away.

'I'm very proud of you, George. Can you tell me more about this? I would like to understand you and see how much this is impacting your life.'

'I binge every day around three times and uh- I purge after that. I throw it up, use laxatives and other pills and exercise a lot to burn the calories. Yesterday, I uh- I passed out and I think it's better to tell you this now. So that's it, I binge and purge every day around three times and it's killing me. I want to stop, but I can't.'

'I'm so proud that you've told this to me, sweetheart. I'm going to make an appointment with the doctor, okay? I'd like them to draw some blood and see what the options are.'

'I would like to. I really want to recover and quit bingeing and purging, but I constantly end up doing it again which makes me very frustrated. The flashbacks don't stop either, it's driving me insane.'

'Okay, honey. I'm going to ask if we can draw blood and see if you're in danger. If everything is okay, I'm calling a therapist for you.'

'Thank you, dad. I hope you're not mad at me, I'm sorry for being so fat and such a failure. I'm going to try to recover and do anything I can.'

'You're not fat and you're not a failure, I love you so much and I'm really proud of you. I want you to be safe, sweetheart. Can you tell me how I can help you?'

I explained more about it and he nodded when he tried to understand me the best way he could. He was genuinely trying to help me as much as he could and took away unhealthy foods that could make me binge.

I asked him if he could grab my pills and laxatives, but when he got them, I panicked since I couldn't live without them. My dad still grabbed them and told me he still had them to make it feel safer for me.

He sat with me and my brother the whole evening and didn't leave me alone for a second. The doctor was concerned so we could immediately go the day after and that morning I was nervously preparing to go. I was glad my dad went with me so I didn't have to be too scared.

~ A Day Later ~

I sat at the table with my dad, eating a sandwich with a lot of trouble as my father got a call from the hospital. I went to draw blood yesterday and I worried that it wasn't great now we got a call from them.

He picked up the phone and I listened too, but I couldn't hear the voice on the other side.

'Yes, I understand. Okay, I get it. Yeah, I'm coming with him, he's with me. Alright, thank you,' I heard my dad say as he hung up.

He looked at me and grabbed my hand. 'Sweetie, your blood counts were very bad. They told me it's better if you stay in the hospital for a while, okay? I know that's really difficult, but I'm staying with you every day when I'm allowed to!'

I stared at my hands and nodded slowly. 'I'd like to stay at home, but I think it's better if I go to the hospital to recover. I feel very weak and they wouldn't want me to stay for no reason.'

He nodded and kissed my cheek. 'They want you to come very soon so I'm going to pack your bag. I want you to rest, because I'm very worried about you, okay? Can you try to eat your sandwich as I pack your bags?'

'I will try, dad. Thank you.'

He smiled and ran upstairs as I sighed. I really wanted to eat this sandwich but it was so difficult. I ate another bite and laid it down as I leaned back in my chair. I started spinning the sandwich around on my plate, trying to fight the urge to throw up.

I knew my dad was packing, but I stood up and slowly walked up the stairs, sitting down on my bed.

'I couldn't do it, dad,' I admitted. 'I didn't eat it all and I really wanted to throw up so I decided to leave the table for now.'

'I'm proud of you for admitting how you feel,' he smiled. 'Stay here with me for a while. I love you, I'm packing everything you need.'

'Thank you, dad. I love you too.'

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