Finally Free Again

24

Extra update at 9 pm CET!

Warnings:
-Coma/talk about death
-Mentions purging

George's POV

My dad was driving me to the hospital at a very high speed. I got a message that Clay was in a coma and had a high chance of dying. They asked me if I wanted to say goodbye to him for if he lost this battle and immediately stepped in the car with my father.

I was tapping my feet on the car's carpet below me from the nerves. I cared so much about Clay and didn't even know he relapsed so badly. He told me he couldn't hang out, which was probably a lie to hide his behaviour.

My dad stopped the car and I immediately jumped out, running inside of the hospital with a fast beating heart from the anxiety that rushed through my body.

My father asked someone behind the counter to tell us where to go and she pointed the way which caused me to run there as fast as I could. My dad went after me, but he went a bit slower as I sped up to Clay's room.

When I was closer, I started walking slower. I breathed out as I knocked on the door and it was opened by a nurse. His parents weren't even here with him apparently.

I looked at Clay. He had a tube in his mouth which caused him to breathe. He had a tube in his nose that was feeding him and an IV that gave him fluids. There were tenths of tubes and cables attached to his body and I looked at the monitor to see that his heartbeat was twenty.

I knelt down next to his bed and looked at his face as I started sobbing softly. 'Clay, keep fighting. You're such a lovely boy, I love you. You're the only one who actually knows what I'm going through and you were so cheerful and kind. I miss you, I hope you keep fighting.'

Nothing changed. He was laying very still and his face was still as pale and lifeless as a minute ago.

'I love you,' I whispered. 'I never say that to people, only to my father. You're my best friend in my eyes and I care so much about you. You did so well and you're still doing incredibly well. I hope you know that.'

I lifted myself up and pressed a short and soft kiss on his forehead. His skin was very cold and I grabbed his hand to warm him up, looking at the temperature.

'Thirty-two degrees,' I whispered. 'Luckily you're wrapped in a lot of blankets. Let me wrap you tighter.'

I put the blankets up to his chin and wrapped him into them so no clothes were visible anymore. I looked back at the monitor and sniffed softly as I ran my hand through his hair.

'You're beautiful, Clay. You're very thin now, but I've always found you beautiful. I hope you will understand that you need to gain weight after what happened.'

That was it for me. I bursted out into tears and stood up to hold my father. He rubbed my back softly and kissed my hair. Tears rolled down onto his shirt but he just held me closer while I sobbed loudly.

'I don't want to lose him,' I whispered. 'I never had anyone, he helped me so much without even realising that. The flashbacks from the time I got beaten up don't stop anymore, dad. I want to stay with him, but it's driving me insane.'

'We are going to walk around the hospital to calm down, sweetheart.'

'But I need to be with Clay.'

'We are just leaving for five to ten minutes, honey,' he smiled as he gave me a kiss on my forehead.

I sighed and nodded as I walked to Clay again. I ruffled his hair up and gave him another kiss on his hair. 'I'm going to walk for a very short while, okay? I will be back very soon to you, I love you. Remember that, alright?'

I walked away with my dad. He had his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him as we walked. I kept crying softly while my dad talked about things that usually made me happy. I appreciated it, but I couldn't get my mind off Clay's situation.

After ten minutes of walking, we walked back to Clay's room again. I was calmer and I sat next to his bed as I grabbed a sandwich. Eating had been going way better than it did a while back. I didn't binge or purge anymore since I also had a good team of therapists around me now.

I didn't want to go back to the hospital and purging was so awful that I never wanted to do that ever again. I was so motivated to stop that I did anything I could to get better.

I slowly started eating my sandwich, taking small bites. I still tended to eat very slowly and chew a lot on my food. Luckily no one minded about that and they left me alone when I ate because they knew they could trust me while eating.

I also told them that I usually started eating when I got triggered and had a flashback about what happened to me so they started giving me trauma therapy. It was working well, it was still difficult, but the nightmares decreased and the anxiety when I went outside did too.

I looked back at Clay and then looked at the ham on my sandwich.

'Ham was the first food you ate in the hospital,' I told him with a smile. 'Do you remember that? I fed you a tiny bit of ham and I know I was so proud of you for eating that. It was a small bit but that doesn't matter to me. It was your first solid food after weeks to months of starving and tube feeding.'

My father smiled at me and held me tightly as I rested my head on his shoulder.

'Will he wake up again? I miss him,' I mumbled as I looked at my dad.

He smiled. 'I can't say anything for sure, but I do know for sure that he's in good hands here. Let's wait and hope for the best.'

1054 words